Monday, December 30, 2013

13 Things I Learned about Blogging in 2013

1. Health-related posts are the most popular subject on my blog. 

2. Pin it! Pinterest is my #1 traffic referrer.

3. I need a class on SEO.

4.  People like honest reviews about Pinterest Pins. Reviews save readers time & money.

5. My home decorating posts were not popular. Nevertheless I'm posting my 2013 kitchen remodel shortly.

6. Few people are searching for spiritual encouragement. My Wednesday posts are always spiritual.

7. Folks love recipes for pretty food.

8. It is challenging to engage people and keep them coming back.

9. Extremely difficult to make any extra money blogging.

10. Social media is a must! Don't discriminate networks; join them all.

11. Post every day! (I got serious this year and saw my page views go up from 200 per month to over 5000 views in September 2013 alone)

12. Consistency and knowing what your readers like are king!

13. More people than you might think don't like Elf on the Shelf including me!

Leave me a comment with some things you can add to 13 Things I Learned about Blogging in 2013.

A bit more educated,
The Happy Handicap

Saturday, December 28, 2013

10 Tips to a Successful New Year's Eve Purge

Can't wait for the new year? Got your heels dug into the pavement trying to avoid the New Year? I'm in the latter category thinking about all the expectations and potential disappointment that I'll suffer at the hands of my own insufficiency. 2014 I'm trying things a bit differently.

I had the idea of a New Year's Eve Purge in the think tank (my shower) the other morning. I've gotten so excited about it I had to share it. A New Year's Eve Purge is the next best thing to sprinkling a supplement on your food to lose weight. The Purge is designed to reduce the stress you're building up trying to resolve to reduce your stress for the new year (say that 3 times fast)! I think it will work. So, please, give 10 Tips to a Successful New Year's Eve Purge a try!

1. Purge resolutions. Don't even think about a resolution! A resolution, broken down, is a "re"-solution guessed it, you never get it resolved! Purge all your resolution thoughts before you have them and opt instead to set goals. Goals are measurable and attainable. You can meet 50% of a goal but you can't half-resolve anything. Things are either resolved or they're not! 

2.  Purge BILLS! Need I say more? Purge or pay as many as you can before the end of the year especially if they are health care charges, property taxes or anything that is a 2013 tax deduction. A couple of options to purge bills might be burning your mailbox, training your dog to keep the mailman away from your mailbox or the Joel Osteen method.

3.   Purge a Dream. Book your dream trip now before the end of 2013. I know this works because I did it in 2011. Crazy yet effective. I booked a dream trip to London & Paris with a minimum deposit of $300, saved money for the next 18 months and took my dream trip in July 2013 debt-free and with spending cash!  Go Ahead Tours offers perks for group coordinators. Become a group coordinator and travel free. Be sure to tell them Tammy Stafford sent ya!
4.  Purge your mouth. Say mean things! RIGHT NOW! Your niceness is exhausted from all the family holiday dinners, your grumpy significant other, the cooking, planning and decorating you've done and you deserve it now more than ever! Tell everyone you see you've got a virus so you can VOMIT, SPEW and SPIT chunks of mean, vile, rude, crude, ugliness everywhere. GET IT ALL OUT! Feel better? Ready to be nice for the new year? I thought so....

5. Purge your DVR. Sit down and watch all those old recordings you've avoided all year. Oh...don't have enough hours in this year to watch all of them? Use the D.E.L.E.T.E. button. Don't laugh, your remote does have one.

6. Purge your closet. It's embarrassing but it MUST be addressed. Forget the "turning your hangers backward" trick. You know what you wear and what you don't. The answer to your question is "NO!" Your question is "I might wear that?" Not gonna happen. Donate it. Just so you know, this is not my closet!

7Purge your contacts list. We've all got them...people on our contacts list that we have no idea who they are, never heard of them much less contacted them. Don't be afraid to send your unknown contacts to the tomb of no retrieval. If you suddenly remember the contact you deleted is your friend's aunt's boyfriend's cousin who is personal friends with your cardiologist, don't worry 911 is a free call.

8.  Purge your pill drawer. Here's to a great attitude and better health in 2014. Trust your body! Throw away those bottles that expired in 1992, 1993, 1994, 1995, get the picture. I'm not sure of the proper way to dispose of pills. Don't flush them! You never know when all a sewer monster needs is an aspirin.

9.  Purge your linen closet. Are your washcloths and towels wholly and I don't mean like Sweet Baby Jesus. We've had some of our linens since we got married in 1985 and they are threadbare and wholly! Some of them look more like bibs than something to wash your ribs!

10. Purge your refrigerator. I've saved the best for last not because we could legit eat everything in the fridge, no! Because it always reminds me of one of the 10 sexiest food scenes in a movie. I can't think of a better way to empty the fridge than by having my "Mickey Rourke" spoon feed me or drizzle me with honey. Can you?

Leave me a comment with your favorite New Year's Eve purge or if you must....your resolution for 2014!

Excited to get started,
The Happy Handicap

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

3 Joys of an Empty Tree

The Joys of an Empty Tree

My family didn't do Christmas. We didn't do Christmas the traditional way. Three years ago, we whittled our gift giving down to $5 presents each. We did this along with giving to other families. This year 2013, we resolved to not buy any gifts for ourselves. We bought for three families instead. Here are the joys we received from an empty tree.

1) We were Secret Santa for 3 brothers. When the gifts were delivered, the coordinator cried because she had difficulty getting someone to "adopt" these kids. An empty tree brought tears of joy!

2) A mom messaged me about finding a bicycle for her daughter.  I felt God directed her to me and asked if we could get the bike. I found a used bike (just like new). The seller of the bike called me later to tell me how buying the bike had helped her family who was stretched for Christmas with only one income. She said "You didn't even know it but ya'll helped two families at once!" An empty tree doubled our joy!

3) We gave a grocery gift card to a single mom with 5 kids. An empty tree brought inner joy!

Your family may have been giving to others for years and we're just slow to the plate. If not, I encourage you to try it. You can start small like we did or just take the plunge! This has been the best Christmas ever living what the truth of Jesus has told us. Acts 20:35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.

The Happy Handicap

Monday, December 23, 2013

The Flu Shot: Cure or Controversy

flu vaccine

Have you had your flu shot? I haven't! In fact, I've NEVER taken a flu vaccine and neither have my children. If I could go back to my children's childhood, I would take a religious exemption from all vaccines not because of my religion but because it's the only way I could legally avoid the shots and them still attend public school. The government has us right where they want us. Controlled!

I'm not a doctor or have any medical training other than self-taught through experience and reading materials. I am also self-educated on alternative treatments including herbs, acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, colonics and reflexology. I've personally tried and still use combinations of these fields. I am very thankful for the medical profession since being born with a birth defect of both feet required extensive surgeries and enabled me to walk. I've had 13 surgeries total including lithotripsy, hysterectomy, cholecystectomy, tonsillectomy, two c-sections and shew! I think that's it! I certainly believe in traditional medicine but let it be known my primary prevention and cure of choice are alternative methods.

My experience with the flu shot and my immediate family has further persuaded me it is not a good choice except in certain situations. My otherwise healthy father had never taken the flu shot. He's 76 and took the flu shot two years ago for the first time. Three days afters, he started showing signs of a stroke and suffered a brain bleed. Google it! Stroke after the flu shot happens more than you might think but no warning is posted on the Center for Disease Control's side effects page. My very healthy Mom (age 73) suffered severe shortness of breath the past two years she's taken the shot. The 2013 flu shot sent her to the doctor's office two times for antibiotics and steroid shots. Although, most doctors are convinced elderly folks should have a flu shot, no exceptions.

My husband, who has pulmonary fibrosis, gets the pneumonia and flu shot. The pneumonia shot did not produce any ill effects. The flu shot always gives him severe body aches. He continually fights an achy body most days due to Anti-synthetase syndrome, an auto-immune disorder. I reluctantly agree with the use of vaccines for individuals with impaired immune systems. We began seeing a functional medicine doctor who practices nutrition and alternative medicine. Functional medicine seeks cause and cure instead of treating symptoms with pills for a lifetime.

flu vaccine cartoon

Ultimately, your health is your responsibility. Your health is your choice. Please chose wisely by seeking uncensored factual information and the advice of your primary physician. I read a lot of Dr. Mark Hyman's articles who started the Functional Medicine movement. I find them extremely informative and helpful. Read what he has to say about who should take the flu shot in his blog post: The Flu Shot: Helpful or Harmful. 

Leave me a comment with your experiences with the flu shot: good or bad.

Here's to our health,
The Happy Handicap

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Why Roadtrips are Better with your Husband Vol. 2

Earlier this year in April when I blogged Why Roadtrips are Better with your Husband, I had no idea we'd have so much fun in December that I'd have to blog "Why Roadtrips are Better with your Husband Vol. 2!" But here we are and here's why this trip was so funny!

long-haired dachshundWe headed to Cape San Blas, Florida to look at buying a lot of land. The trip would be short, down there, spend the night, look at the lot and back home. I usually drive. Today, Steve decides he will drive. Our first destination is Enterprise, AL (30 minutes out of the way) because we have our noble pooch Hermie with us. Hampton Inn Enterprise is the only pet-friendly hotel inconveniently located anywhere on the entire route.

Hermie travels better than most adults. He rode to Florida and back without barking one time. Most people can't even go to the mailbox and back without at least passing loud gas, right?Amazing Canine!

Want to see what Hermie is so intrigued about in this pic? I typically pack a bit of snacks when we travel. Snacks avoids stopping to eat excessively and keeps me awake. I love Golden Flake Thin & Crispy potato chips which I packed for me. I brought along some gluten free pretzels for Steve.

I was the first to enjoy some of my potato chips from a brand new bag. Sometime later Steve reaches for some pretzels. He (still driving) is feeling around behind his seat and mine looking for the pretzels. I said "Let me find them for you." He said "No, I got them!" Pulling a bag from behind his seat, the next thing I saw was a cascade of potato chips as my entire bag of precious Golden Flake Thin & Crispy Chips were underneath Steve's feet! He picked up the open bag upside down.

Steve apologized profusely and then said "I guess you won't be eating your favorite midnight snack tonight" while Hermie nobly sought to lick up the mess. No, we didn't let him. Dogs shouldn't eat chips. I emptied the chips onto the grass of the hotel the next morning feeling a couple of ounces lighter.

We were settled for the night and it's finally time to eat some drive thru dinner. We had pulled through Arby's and I was surprised when Steve agreed to three Roast Beef Jr. sandwiches. I was the first to complain because my Ham-n-Cheese Jr. that I requested swiss cheese on instead of cheddar looked like this...
For a woman who don't like cheese, this was disgusting! Steve took his sandwiches out of the bag, unwrapped them looking ticked off and said "What is this?" "3 Roast Beef Jrs." I said. He replied "You know I don't eat junior nothings! I could eat all this gluten and it wouldn't bother me!" No, he really couldn't but I certainly didn't say that. He removed the tiny slabs of roast beef from the buns, sopped up some of my cheese with them and ate while continuously shaking his head in disbelief. "Those large ladies at Arby's are probably still laughing at me saying "Look what's he's eating!".

I couldn't stop laughing when he accidentally spit out a chunk of roast beef while talking, grabbed it up from the hotel table and ate it!  This was so unlike my husband. He said "I can't afford to blow out a junior chunk and not eat it!"

I fed Hermie from a bowl I brought and used my mom skills to find a water bowl.
 Steve may have been unhappy with my food selections for him but Hermie was my friend.
Uneventful night and next morning, we looked for a Hardee's to get a biscuit. We both ordered sausage of some sort and was cracked up to see this at the front of the building.
A load of hogs! Boy, did that sausage taste fresh! We looked at the lot. I loved it! Steve said it was too low and was afraid of water restrictions. I suppose he was right. After all, it was in a flood zone but it was RIGHT ACROSS THE ROAD FROM THE BEACH!!! We canceled our contract on the lot when we got home. Epic fail but epic fun! Be sure to check out a funny house hunting trip with my daughter in 5 Ways Not to Shop for a Beach House in Florida.

Leave me a comment with something fun you've done with your husband. Trips, I'm talking about trips. lol

Having fun with food fiascoes,
The Happy Handicap

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Do People Wonder?

Sloane is obsessed with celebrities. She follows her favorites on Twitter. She wonders who's dating whom.  Sydnee peruses the fashion section of magazines. She loves new clothing styles and wonders what's in or a has-been. Steve studies survival methods. He wonders if we'll be alright if disaster strikes. I google recipes. I wonder if I can find a fabulous new dish my family will love! We are curious about these things. We have a desire to know more which moves us to "go see".

Have you ever heard something and wondered about it? So curious you simply MUST check it out to see if it is true? For example, you hear how beautiful Hawaii is. Does that expressed beauty make you wonder enough to get on an airplane to go see for yourself? If not, your storyteller is a dud! I heard for years about the beauty of  Butchart Gardens in Victoria, British Columbia. My curiosity got me on a boat, a plane and an automobile to find out if the stories were true. They are, the beauty of the garden is overwhelming!

The Christmas Story in Luke 2:16-18 speaking of the shepherds says "And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds." The Bible doesn't tell us but I believe those who wondered surely had to come and see. I imagine people making their way to the stable peeking around corners hoping for a glimpse of the baby. I can almost hear people tell others "I heard him cry!", "Well, when the stable door opened he opened his eyes and looked at me!" or even "I saw one of those angels appear near his manger bed!"

The exciting story is still the same, our Savior was born! I wonder if I am telling the story in a manner to make people wonder? Do people hear my story of Jesus and wonder about him? Do I soak up and use Sunday sermons to help someone on Monday by sharing what I heard? Do I tell people about the miraculous things God does in my life every day enough to make them wonder about who He is? Do I use God's Word in every day language to intrigue peoples' wonderment about where those words came from? Do I tell a good story? Do I cause people to wonder about Jesus?

Some people the shepherds told went to see the first time they heard it. Some people had to hear the story multiple times and see others excited before they were moved to check it out. Regardless of how many times it takes for a person to hear the story of Jesus before they come and see, the story has to be WONDROUSLY told!

Wondering 365,

Monday, December 16, 2013

Can Lavender Oil reduce Skin Bruising?

Tried and True Natural Health Tip #2

Nature's Sunshine Lavender Fine 
This small bottle of oil is close to a miracle worker to reduce skin bruising. I'm not a doctor and my statement has not been approved by the FDA! Please seek health advice from a medical professional. However, I have personally used Lavender oil for years to reduce the pain and tenderness of skin bruising. Can Lavender Oil reduce Skin Bruising?

Case #1: My husband ran into the corner of the bed frame with his shin at a high rate of speed yesterday. After he said &%^*# and almost cried, he said "Look at that knot! It'll be a big bruise tomorrow!" The word bruise sent me to the cabinet for my little bottle of Lavender. I generously applied the oil directly to the accident area. Lavender can be safely applied directly to the skin without a carrier agent or ill effects. Next morning, my husband admitted his knot was gone and he didn't even have a bruise or soreness from a bang on his leg that should have bruised and been sore for at least a week.

There are many brands of Lavender oil. I simply prefer Nature's Sunshine Lavender Fine due to purity, collection techniques and manufacturing worthiness. I maintain a relation with Nature's Sunshine for my personal ordering. If you would like to order please consider using my ID 2926490 as a sponsor. Membership is free with a $40 order and members save at least 40% off of retail price. Sweet!

I also use Lavender oil rubbed directly on my feet to soothe tired and aching tootsies. Being born with a birth defect, I have to pamper my feet quite often. If I take a trip, Lavender is a MUST to help reduce pain and swelling from a day on my feet. The oil will also help cuts and bruising on your feet. I recently went to London and Paris and was so glad to buy a bottle of lavender oil in the gift shop of Westminster Abbey! I had brought my own bottle but wanted a souvenir...ha! I also use Lavender soap to bathe with and cleanse my face from

Do you use Lavender oil? Leave me a comment and tell me your successes with the oil. What do you love to use it for?

Slathering it on,
The Happy Handicap

Thursday, December 12, 2013

Fun with Soap Puns


french milled soap citrus collection
Citrus Collection with Orange, Cherry and Lemon

Here's a bit of fun with soap puns. One of these puns or all of them are a clever insert in a gift of soap. Enjoy! Buy the Citrus Collection (fabulously fragrant) along with others and individual soaps at

If you’re searching for the perfectly ridiculous, soap puns (and I know EVERYBODY is) and jokes to share with your family and friends at the festive table, then check out these ‘crackers’:

1. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
2. The thought of having no alternative to soap never washed with the inventor of shower gel.
3. The soap-eating cult was swallowing lyes in search of the truth.
4. If you want to make really good soap you’ve to to raise the bar.
5. A man stole a case of soap from the corner store. The police said he made a clean getaway.
6. It’s true I don’t like soap, but you don’t have to rub it in my face!
7. Getting soap in your eyes is no lathering matter.
8. When purchasing soap if you buy two and get one free that’s a bar-gain.
9. My wife’s dad spends a lot of time in the bathroom. He is my Father in Loo.
10. Officer Jones takes his yearly bath every June. He is a characteristic example of a dirty cop.
11. It’s OK to watch an elephant bathe as they usually have their trunks on.
12. He was going to manufacture bathtubs until his bank pulled the plug.

All "washed" up,
The Happy Handicap

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Birthplace of Jesus

Each year, near the holidays, we remember the place where Jesus was born.  I envision a small barn-like structure. The temperature inside making me shiver with cold and the stale hay tickling my nose into a sneeze.  I imagine  cobwebs in every nook and cranny, so old the spiders who spun them have left.  Although worn and lacking luxury, the building houses a King.

As I sat listening to the sermon this week from Luke 2:6-8, I suddenly realized another reason why Jesus was born in a stable instead of a palace. Luke 19:10 says "For the Son of Man is come to seek and to save that which was lost." How does he seek and save what is lost? Similar to the way he did it over 2000 years ago, even today, He searches for a place to be born. When he finds a place, he asks to come in. Some people have a room for him to stay in and some people still have no room at their inn. If he is invited in, he is used to this place, this live stable. He enters a cold, stale environment draped in cobwebs of neglect. The place is broken, worn and lacking luxury.  And it still houses a King. Rejoice for your heart is HIS birthplace!

My Heart is His,
The Happy Handicap

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Nice Inexpensive Christmas Gifts Everyone Needs


Looking for a nice Christmas gift for your office, cousins or Sunday school class? You want something nice but not too expensive. Looking for something unique and fresh? After all, doesn't everyone have enough Bath & Body Works? Experience the luxuriousness of Authentic French Milled Soaps from Savon Suds.

Savon Suds offers nice inexpensive Christmas gifts everyone needs! The soaps imported from Paris makes your skin feel softer, smoother and more lavish. 12 natural soaps to choose from, NEVER any artificial color, scents or impurities. Will not clog pores. Sets available or individually packaged.

Relaxing Collection with Lavender, Honey and Sweet Almond
Each unique soap is filled with health benefits that could help eczema, acne, psoriasis and more. For more information visit Savon Suds and buy some nice inexpensive Christmas gifts everyone needs. I use these soaps personally. They are the best french milled soaps I've ever used. Their fragrance is big and bold yet soft and pleasing. Use soap to accent your decor. One soap will freshen a small bathroom area for months. You and your friends will love them too!

Au revoir,
The Happy Handicap

Monday, December 9, 2013

Is Deodorant a Risk for Breast Cancer?

Introducing a new series of blogs on Monday that addresses health concerns and provides a first hand account of "tried and true" natural health tips. If I recommend a product, I've tried it and it works. Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and none of these tips/advice are meant to diagnosis or treat. If you have a medical condition, please seek the help of a healthcare professional.

Is Deodorant a Risk for Breast Cancer? According to WebMD you shouldn't sweat it and The National Cancer Institute says NO! The fact that they would even publish articles on the subject makes me raise my eyebrow. A fact sheet from predicts 300,000+ new cases of breast cancer this year (2013). This figures includes 39,620 deaths. Breast cancer is a huge health concern for women.

The suspected health risk for deodorants are aluminum and parabens which have been found in both malignant and healthy breast tissue. How do we know if these are carcinogens or not? Good question. Some folks immune systems may be able to deal with these troublesome ingredients while others may not. We know this to be true since not every woman develops breast cancer. It's a personal choice to avoid these ingredients.

As a result of a healthy lifestyle and increased awareness, I choose to wear a deodorant that is aluminum-free and paraben-free. My Tried and True Natural Health Tip for Today is Arbonne Pure Mint Deodorant.
An aluminum-free, paraben-free deodorant infused with mint and extracts from white tea, ginger, lemongrass, sage and tea tree that fights bad odor and helps you feel fresh all day. Baking soda and vegetable enzymes help neutralize odor, blocking the effects of odor-causing bacteria and delivering gentle, effective protection.

I use this product personally. I love it! No more offensive smells or allergic reactions, just pure, safe and beneficial results every time. I have been using Arbonne products for over 10 years.

If you'd like to learn more about this product, click here. To save 20% , click here to buy. If you decide to take a healthy step and purchase, I appreciate you using my consultant id 15086884.

An aluminum-free, paraben-free deodorant infused with mint and extracts from white tea, ginger, lemongrass, sage, and tea tree that ¬fights bad odor and helps you feel fresh all day. Baking soda and vegetable enzymes help neutralize odor, blocking the effects of odor-causing bacteria and delivering gentle, effective protection. ( 1.7 oz ) - See more at:
Happy Monday and Happy Health,
The Happy Handicap

An aluminum-free, paraben-free deodorant infused with mint and extracts from white tea, ginger, lemongrass, sage, and tea tree that ¬fights bad odor and helps you feel fresh all day. Baking soda and vegetable enzymes help neutralize odor, blocking the effects of odor-causing bacteria and delivering gentle, effective protection. ( 1.7 oz ) - See more at:
An aluminum-free, paraben-free deodorant infused with mint and extracts from white tea, ginger, lemongrass, sage, and tea tree that ¬fights bad odor and helps you feel fresh all day. Baking soda and vegetable enzymes help neutralize odor, blocking the effects of odor-causing bacteria and delivering gentle, effective protection. ( 1.7 oz ) - See more at:

Saturday, December 7, 2013

The #1 Best Class Management Ever for a Substitute Teacher

I was nervous the day I walked into a high school to be a substitute for the very first time. I subbed for a health class which was a relief but I genuinely worried about the students harassing me. I arrived about 30 minutes early, acclimated myself to the classroom and began to pray.

Lord, please help me to manage these students with poise and grace without losing my cool and screaming, Amen! Do you ever pray honestly in everyday words? I DO! The holy strategy I received and wrote on the board is :
Yep! Simple as that, God told me to write "I am not a sub!" on the board. I thought "Is this really the #1 Best Class Management Ever for a Substitute Teacher?" I was amazed at the mesmerized looks on those kids faces when they walked into the room and read it. I immediately had their attention and their imaginations kept them occupied for a while. Some of them asked questions right off the bat, some of them made funny faces when they read it and some of them didn't even look my way.

When everyone was seated I gave my introduction. I explained that today I am simply Tammy Stafford. Please don't think of me as a substitute teacher. I suggested I was there to help them. We are equals today and on the same level. I don't know anything about this health lesson but I'm here to learn. I proved my commitment by reading the lesson and answering the questions that was their assignment for the day. I also made a deal that if they respected me and I them, we would review all the answers before the class dismissed. They seemed to like this plan.

My first experience as a sub for high school was a great success! Some students told me that was a clever trick to keep everyone quiet. They say a trick. I say the Trinity! I thanked God as I left the school that afternoon. He is so clever!

Do you pray when you sub or teach? Do you have any proven ways to manage a classroom for a sub? Leave me a comment. I'm anxious to get a few new tricks up my sleeve!

Subbing successfully sometimes,
The Happy Handicap

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Friday, December 6, 2013

5 Reasons Why I hate the Elf on a Shelf

Bah! Humbug! I know I'm totally un-American and such but I wish all those elves on shelves would just fall off! I don't want an elf creeping around my house at night doing things I wouldn't dare let my children get away with, do you? That 3-letter acronym that means almost the same thing as "what the crap?" would be appropriate here but my husband forbids me to use it in my writings. Calm down, you're almost as bad as him! It's just a word. You peeps have made it what it is today...infamous!

Anyway, I've seen so many of those boring elf pictures on facebook I'm sick of them already and it's only December 6th. Now, if you have an elf and L.O.V.E. him/her, please take this post in the vain it is written in which is jokingly or humorously for the more intelligent folks. Yay, I'm in one of my moods today. Beware if you dare to read on.

How do I not love thee little elf, let me tell you the whys:

  1. I want to slap that smirk right off your face. Who says you can look at anyone with that knowing grin like you're always chanting in your pointed little head  "I'm the Elf on a Shelf, I can do anything I want and get away with it sucker!" I hate the elf for the smirk on his face.
  2. His/Her arms and legs are more toned than mine! I hate the elf because he lays around for 11 months of every year and never gains an ounce.
  3. I hate the elf because he has no feet. I know I'm the "Happy" Handicap. I admit I have feet problems or a lack thereof. My husband always says I make everything about me but seriously why would you make an elf, give him hands and not make him any feet. I almost feel sorry for him on this one but instead of sympathy, I prefer to just hate the footless little guy.
  4. I hate the elf because his creator went to my alma mater. If the idea was floating around on campus, why didn't it land in my head? Why didn't I get to become popular and make millions? Why isn't a creepy little elf I created sitting on the Kardashians' mantle? Yep, I hate the elf because I didn't think of him first.
  5. I hate the elf because short elves got no reason to live. They got little hands, little eyes, they sit around telling great big lies. They got tiny little teeth and a pixie haircut that stinks! 
My daughter is going to comment on this and say that I'm not really this mean but today....I AM! Leave me a comment and let me know why you hate the elf or you may just want to say why you hate me.

I'm all done now,
The Happy Handicap

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Super Easy Reese's Frosting Drizzle

super easy frosting

Do you ever have this problem?
You plan to take that certain dish to a get-together
mentally inventory your pantry for the ingredients
ah! yes! they're all there.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

5 Positive Things about "Auto-Correct"


If you use technology, you've probably experienced auto-correct.  Auto-correct is a built-in vocabulary that automatically corrects "supposed" errors. For example, I might be typing the word "of" and auto-correct changes it to "if". Lots of funny jokes results from auto-corrected text messages. Email uses it too. A lot of people hate auto-correct and they turn it off. Rightfully so, auto-correct has a history of ruining people's lives! Auto-correct has been known to turn the word "Disney" into "Divorce". You can see how this could present a problem...We're going to Disney becomes We're going to divorce!

Is auto-correction really that bad? Here's my thought..."If you're God-connected, you're auto-corrected!" The Bible says in Proverbs 3:11-12 "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: for whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth." God gave us scripture for correction (2 Timothy 3:16).  It's upsetting when a text gets corrected incorrectly! We  don't need a machine correcting us. But we do need a Holy God to help us correct our incorrect ways. How many times have you turned your auto-correct off? Don't you love (maybe not) when you're thinking about eating a Reese cup and God says "Should you eat that?" and you're like "YAY! I should eat it!" You just turned off auto-correction. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to get up on Sunday morning? Have you overrode your auto-correct and stayed in bed? I have!

Just say YES to God's auto-correction. He can positiviely help you:
1. Bite your tongue
2. Turn the other cheek
3. Look in the right direction
4. Improve your life
5. Lose weight (lol, just kidding but it could happen)

I couldn't do without my wireless connection to God complete with auto-correct. I don't have to worry about sending or receiving too much data, losing His signal or being charged extra. God's plan is free and doesn't require a new contract every several years! What do you like or not like about God's auto-correct? Share your thoughts with a comment below.

Standing corrected,
The Happy Handicap

Monday, December 2, 2013

You could be a Star!

every day...

Can you imagine following a star to the place where Jesus lay in the manger? Watching in anticipation as the star leads you across a desert terrain to a stable to visit a King!
The Bible tells us in Matthew 2:2 that the wise men saw his star in the east and came to worship him. 

Can we shine as bright as the star that led the wise men to Jesus? 

Just a few short chapters over in Matthew 5:16 the Bible instructs US to "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your father which is in heaven." I believe that is exactly what the star was doing that night in Bethlehem; shining for men to see his good works and glorifying him. Once we accept Jesus, he begins a good work in us.  His Holy Spirit can shine through us so men can see his glory. 

Sometimes I think I made a special trip to the hardware store to buy a dimmer switch for my glorious light. Actually, I don't even need a dimmer switch on me to become "Dim for Christ"!  Do you ever feel the same way? You know we can keep hitting our dimmer switches until you can't see Jesus in us at all. The good news is we have control of how brightly our lights shine for Jesus. We need to remove our dimmer switches and glow brightly all the time!

So how can we let our lights shine? Live for him and not ourselves. Do his good work! Share the glorious news of Christ! Wouldn't it be amazing if our lights were so bright people were blinded like Paul?  You've always wanted to be a star, haven't you?  Now’s your chance!

  Be that star this Christmas that leads someone to Jesus!


Thursday, November 28, 2013

Many Thanks



Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God. 
                            2 Corinthians 9:11

I dare to say that we are enriched bountifully in many things. The question I ask is which of those things causes us to give thanks to God? Some folks give thanks before they eat, they are thankful for food. Some people thank God for safety, salvation and shelter. Last week with the birth of my grandchild, I thanked God for his love being so apparent in babies; their serenity, sweetness and perfect spirit is so HIM! Looking at her causes my spirit to overflow with thankful gladness. I know God enjoys being praised. Many things causes me to give thanks unto God. How about you? What causes you to give thanks?

Show me and the Almighty some love by leaving a comment. I'd like to know what causes your heart to be thankful.

Praising Him thankfully,
The Happy Handicap

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Review of Pinterest Dawn & Vinegar Shower Cleaner

best shower cleaner
Have you seen this pinned 1000 times?
you pinned it vowing to make it!
Did you?
I did!
 How did I like it? Let me count the ways....
my ultra clean shower!
1. Very, very easy to make
 2. Any Dawn will work
 (not just the blue, I used green with Oil of Olay)
3. Easy to apply
(although my hand did get tired of pumping)
4.  Inexpensive to make
(I'm figuring about .25 or less per clean shower job)
5. Superior to my normal cleaner Scrubbing Bubbles
6. Chemicals are not as harsh as Scrubbing Bubbles
7.  Stores well

The only adjustment I would suggest 
is reducing the amount of Dawn to
1/2 to 2/3 cup per 1 cup vinegar.
The solution was too sudsy and soapy for my liking
especially for my age group lol
How many of you clean the shower
when you take a shower?
I've got my hand raised high in the air
doing the selfie wave!
and, I see you blushing!
I will reduce the amount of Dawn because it was
so SLIPPERY when trying to clean.
I can see the doctors face now
up naked to the ER.
He asked what happened and
the answer is...
"I fell and couldn't get up!"
and he's like "Why are you naked and soaking wet?"

My "rain" type shower head made
it difficult to get all the suds and bubbles
out of the shower also.
Next time I'll hook a water hose
to my sink vanity so I
can use a spray nozzle!
Ladies, we've gotta have the right tools!

Overall, I will use Dawn & Vinegar Shower Cleaner, slightly modified.
I definitely RECOMMEND this recipe.
Have you tried it?
Leave me a comment with your results!
I'd love to hear your review of Pinterest Dawn & Vinegar Shower Cleaner.

Slipping and Sliding,
The Happy Handicap