Monday, June 27, 2011

are you appealing or a peeling?

Well.....hello!  Did you take challenge #1 with me?  Meet someone new and remember their name?  I did!  Last week, I had two new experiences.  I met Krista who is the mother of my daughter's new friend Lauren.  They own Raspberry Row in downtown Dalton.  You might check it out sometime.  I also went to a retirement party for an old friend that I had not seen in a while.  There were about 50 people there I had never met and about 6 or 8 that I knew!  I met a grand total of 3 new people out of that crowd and remember their names, Andrea, Geoff and Earlene!  I think I passed the challenge, but, I woke up this morning wondering what makes people appeal to other people?  What makes someone interested in talking to me?  I can't think of one thing!

At one point during the retirement party, Laura and I, (Laura is my friend I went with) were hugging a wall just watching all the other people talk and have fun.  At this point, I started to discuss what makes people appealing and we could not answer the age old question.  We moved to a table just outside of the "social" imaginary line and ate hors d'oeuvres.  Food is always your friend and always appealing!  When dinner began, Laura and I were rescued by four sweet, younger-than-us guys we knew and luckily, we didn't have to occupy a table for two old, boring women. 

There was one lady there that worked the room.  She seemed very confident, very tall, very pretty, very tan, very low-cut tank top, nice jeans and a "presence".  I began wondering if that's what it takes to be appealing?  Then, I thought of my husband who would put her in the category of an "Amazon", meaning she is tall and big-boned and was thankful that she would not appeal to everyone.  So, at this event, I realized that, once again, it was my own mental block that caused me to shrink like a violet and take a back seat on the bus.  I woke up this morning accessing my success for last week asking myself, was i appealing or a peeling?  My picture is below:



Yep, a banana peel! What can you do with a banana peel?  Nothing!  You can at least make jelly out of apple peelings! lol  Wait a minute.  My mom uses banana peels to fertilize her rose bushes.  Now, that makes me feel better.  I'm seeing a ray of sunshine.  Yes, even a peeling, that you seemingly can't do anything with can be used.  So, this day, if I can't be appealing, not just yet, I will be happy as a peeling that is used to fertilize someone else to make them grow.  If I can see someone get stronger, grow larger, spread their roots, put on green leaves or bloom, I will be content with my progress, put one in the "win" column for Tammy.  After all, isn't that what being a friend is about? 

Monday, June 20, 2011

awkward or awesome?

ok.  this is my first blog and it's on a subject that is so important but most of us (including me) have overlooked it until now.  if you are like me, my general opinion is "people either like me or they don't" or "they can take me or leave me".  are you shaking your head in agreement?  if so, this blog is for you and especially for me!

at times, i can be awesome with people but most times, i am awkward.  you know the feeling.  you meet someone new or you see an old friend and you walk away from them thinking "what in the world did i just say?", "am i nuts?", "why didn't i complement that person?" or "why didn't i give them a hug?".  hugs are a whole 'nuther ballgame that i might play another day.  we'll get there but i'm starting with awkwardness pre-k right now.

awkward reminds me of the word aardvark.   just look at that guy!  he's got long ears, a long snout, a humped back, a long tail and really doesn't look like any other animal we see on a regular basis.  is that how you feel sometimes?  i do, especially when talking to people, even my family!  oh, did i also mention, he lives in a hole?  in african folklore, the aardvark is much admired because of its diligent quest for food and its fearless response to soldier ants.  we need to think of ourselves as the aardvark!  we will become admired because of our diligent quest for friends and our fearless response to people!  we will become less and less like the guy above and more and more like the guy below.
feast your eyes on arthur the loveable aardvark!  he's got lots of friends and rules the playground.  you may be wondering how i, the person who talks 90 miles a minutes could ever have a problem meeting people.  i usually fake it till i make it and then beat myself up for the next several days.  i love people and i want to be that person who can talk in any situation, illuminate a room and even, make people feel good!  if you have the same challenges with people that i do, follow my blog and we'll take this journey together.  i always feel safer when i have someone to travel with.

we will begin with a different challenge each week.  if you are serious about progress, please do this with me and share your results with me by emailing me at tammy.stafford@hotmail.com.  ok. 

challenge #1:
meet one stranger this week.  it doesn't matter where you meet them, just make it someone that you don't even know their name.  but be sure you remember their name......they will hopefully move from the category of "acquaintance" to "friend"!