Saturday, July 30, 2011

my husband is my best friend

this post is about my best friend and he is truly my best friend!  if any of you know my husband steve, you will understand the love and humor that can only come from him.  if you have a husband that is your best friend and you two are truly in love, you will appreciate this post!

one evening, long ago, before i became the wife i am today, steve, the kids and i were having dinner.  we were discussing the topic of the day and i shook my little finger at him and made that popping noise with my mouth as to shame him for what he said.  well, he told me that if I didn't keep my mouth shut, he would slide me up under something.  i told him, no, he wouldn't and one thing led to another and the next thing i knew, steve had me out of my dinner chair, holding me by one arm and one leg and slide me right under the dining room table!  it was one of the funniest moments of our marriage to-date!  we laughed for 20 minutes non-stop.  so, if you see us and i start running my mouth and he gives me that look, you and i know what his eyes are communicating to me......if you don't hush, i'll slide you under something!

steve has pet names for me.  i'm sure your husband has pet names for you too!  albeit, i bet your husband doesn't have the material mine does to work with!  you know i just came out last year admitting that i am handicapped and only have two toes per foot.  well, one of steve's favorite pet names for me is ostrich hooves, referring to my feet of course.  he also refers to me lovingly as a gimp and threatens to give me the two-toed indian foot lick!  he calls me "tam", short for tammy.  he'll say, hobble on over here tam or can you pick up the channel changer "condor wings".  he thinks i have extremely long arms too.  i think he has some kind of weird foot fetish which suits me just fine.  if you are curious about this, pick up a copy of my book, Labeled by Humanity, Loved by God here.  there are pictures!

steve has many fine qualities that make him great at loving a disabled woman.  he hung me up a handicapped sign in the garage so no one else would get my parking place at home.  he insists that i cook dinner every night standing up so my feet and legs don't go numb from sitting.  he keeps a constant check on what I eat, he says my feet don't need any extra pounds to carry around.  he tells me when i need a haircut because he says i have enough trouble walking, don't need my hair falling down in my eyes blocking my view.  steve is so nice to me, i wish i could do something for him.  he's a leg man and i wish doctors had a leg job like i need but they don't and it's just my luck, i don't need a boob job!  steve's second and third toes on both feet are grown together and i keep telling him that doctors could probably fix that, it looks gross!

i'm joking! i'm joking!  nah, not really! steve and i have been married for almost 26 years and we love each other more now than we ever did.  we are best friends!  if you can't laugh with your spouse and make fun of each other, your marriage probably won't work.  you know it's not nice to make fun of other people, you;ve got to keep it in the family!

i'm his b-ride and he's my vgroom, vgroom!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

The Three Amigos

Donna, Nancy and I went for a nice dinner at Cafe Intermezzo in Downtown Atlanta this past weekend.  On a hot July day, the breeze was blowing exceptionally pleasant and we sat outdoors and enjoyed our time together.  My daughter Sydnee went with us too!

Nancy compared us to Steel Magnolias.  She was Shirley McClain, Donna was Dolly Parton, I was Sally Fields and Sydnee is Julia Roberts.  So, the tips below derived from our conversation that evening!  Enjoy!

1.  Never ever-ever consistently look better than your friend.  She will start avoiding you and will eventually quit being your friend!

2.  Don't talk about your children the entire visit even if you think they are perfect.  We love our unruly children and don't care to hear you droning on and on about precious little Susie and athletic little Bobby!

3.  Don't tell us how good your husband is to you!  We know you follow him around with a stick and if we saw him the tongue lashing would still be visible!

4.  Please limit your good news stories to 10! 

5.  Don't tell us your employer loves you!  Employers only love themselves!

6.  Don't wanna hear about your custom designed home decor when we can't afford "Design on a Dime"!

7.  Your Beamer don't need a nickname!  We know how much it costs, how much the insurance costs and how expensive the monthly maintenance is!

8.  Don't fork the lettuce from your petite salad and talk to me while waving it in my face.  I already noticed you ordered a salad!

9.  Don't sport your $1000 sandals and tell me you paid that much for them when I can't afford a root canal!

10.  Don't whine about being overweight!  Fire your yard man and attack that lawn like Richard Simmons doing "Sweatin to the Oldies" or you could walk your own dogs!

11.  Don't run down your list of prescription meds, it makes me feel bad about my own!

In the end, Nancy, Donna and I are truly friends, we love each other!  If you can find humor in these tips without getting mad, stomping your feet, puffing up and pouting, I know your friends love you too!

Friday, July 15, 2011

to friend or not to friend?

Great Friday morning everyone! I've had this question rolling around in my head for a week!  It reminds me of Shakespeare's "to be or not to be?" that is the question.  So let's talk about it!  It is a soliloquy because when Hamlet speaks it he is alone onstage.  I feel alone sometimes even when I'm with something or someone that I call a friend! 

Here are some examples:

Mmmmmm chocolate cake !  Should I friend this chocolate cake or not?  My mouth loves chocolate cake!  It's not so good for the rest of my body so when I'm eating it, I have a good time but afterward, I wish I hadn't!  I really shouldn't keep any of this in my house, because it doesn't sit innocently in a cake plate.  No!  It is calling my name incessantly, wanting my attention and friendship.  Only problem is, I don't get anything in return but a sweet, empty feeling.

Ahhhhhhh credit cards!  Should I friend these little magic plastic cards or not?  My buying habit loves them but my checkbook isn't loving them when the bills come!  Now, unlike the cake, these might actually be able to get me out of bind or help me pay for something if I friend them wisely or if I control them.  Maybe I should have one or two of these because they are less demanding of my attention and add value to my life!

Ohhhhhhh the medicine cabinet!  Should I friend my pills or not?  If you have any kind of medical condition, you need your meds.  They enable you to live a longer, improved life.  They may actually give you some life where without them you might die.  Antibiotics cure an infection, anti-inflammatories help your body remove inflammation that hurts and pain relievers can be a Godsend when used, not abused. 

The question is "to friend or not to friend", the answer is "yes, be a friend to all".  The examples I've used are exactly some of the people we encounter everyday.  Like chocolate cake, we meet people that may be sweet on the surface but leave us with a bitter taste in our mouth.  Like credit cards, we meet people that may help us but they are always calling in their debt and just like meds, we meet people that make us feel good on a daily basis 

The next time you meet someone new or maybe someone you already know, you can see them as cake, credit or medicine.  You can actually select the people you want to surround yourself with.  Everybody needs friends and everybody wants to be friended.  Just be careful and make sure you're a good friend.  You don't want people to view you as cake or empty satisfaction.  You might or might not want them to view you as a plastic credit card, offering them more buying power.  You want them to view you like medicine, something they need everyday, critical to their health and in most cases, can't live without!

Monday, July 4, 2011

friend or foe?

Happy 4th of July!  Today, being very thankful for an independent and free, United States of America, I started thinking about what it takes to be a friend or friendly.  The USA is friendly to most anyone who is friendly to her.  I am the same way, I bet you are too!  I looked up the definition of friend(ly) and the common two were "not hostile" or "one who is on good terms with another". 

Challenge #2:  During the next week, contemplate this - Are you on good terms with everyone you know?  Are you hostile toward anyone?  Is anyone hostile toward you?  Now, let me explain how I see this.  I can always make sure that I am on good terms with everyone and that I am not hostile toward anyone.  Alternately, if anyone is hostile toward me, and I know it, I can truly apologize for anything I have done toward them, talk about it with them and the rest is up to them.  I cannot create forgiveness in their heart, only mine.  So, challenge #2 is to decide if you are hostile toward anyone and forgive that person even if they have not asked for it!  Easy enough, right? 

Did you know that hostility or anger is dangerous to your health?  At least 20% of the general population has levels of hostility high enough to be dangerous to their health.  This fact is excepted from a 1993 report by Redford Williams, M.D. and Virginia Williams, Ph.D. called Anger Kills!  That  report is almost 20 years ago, can you imagine how that number has risen?

I'm coming clean!  I cannot think of one person or group that I am harboring any hostility toward.  I will admit that it took me some time to recover from quitting my job and nursing myself back to health, letting go of 10+ years of anger toward a company.  Hostility can build about anything!  I may not be hostile toward people but there is one thing I absolutely loathe!  I have included a pic below:

That's right!  I am hostile toward cleaning!  I don't like to clean anything, my house, my car, my teeth!  Of course, I do these things but I don't like them!  And, it's ok that I don't like them or are angry toward them!  It doesn't add years to my life but it also doesn't make me unfriendly to anyone (unless they meet me on a cleaning day!).  Cleaning physical things is hard and sometimes it's even harder to clean our attitude towards others.  Did you know some people even clean their home when they are hostile or angry?  I can't use that as therapy, it would make me even madder!  Anyways, this week, let's work hard to clean up ourselves, even if we don't like it, free ourselves and become independent of anger and hostility!  I bet you will like yourself better might make a new friend!