Thursday, February 2, 2017

Do You Want a Miracle or a Mess?

miracle
Ask and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.    - Matthew 7:7-8 KJV

We received terrifying news in March 2012. Steve couldn't breathe well. After  a lung biopsy, the doctor looked us square in the eyes without any compassion and bluntly said "You've got two to five years". Usually, my response would have been something ridiculous like "Two to five years to what? Pay off my car? Make a million dollars? Retire?". But I knew crazy questions were not going to hide the evidence Steve's biopsy revealed; the diagnosis of a deadly form of lung disease, pulmonary fibrosis.

According to the study “Clinical Course and Prediction of Survival in Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis,” median survival of patients who suffer from pulmonary fibrosis is 2.5 years, but some patients live much longer than that. The most common cause of death among patients is respiratory failure. 

God blessed me with some tenacity for a reason! Battling a birth defect for 48 years, me and adversity are tight. Close companions. I have to admit hearing the prognosis I was shaken. Remember my words in October about Milisende?  I can never promise an "unstirred" Tammy but I always promise to seek to discover Christ, my rock and salvation. The One who stills my fears during my fiercest storms...my Fear Whisperer. I began to ask, seek and knock ferociously concerning Steve's disease once I relocated my Anchor and He steadied my boat upright.

The past five years have been a tremendous journey with many ups and then downs and then ups again. Happiness one day and a nauseating sickness in the depths of my soul the next day. I won't even attempt to detail the entire process but I MUST share with you what happened yesterday which I believe started mid-December 2015.

I'm a member of a facebook group whose members have Antisynthetase Syndrome (which caused his pf) like Steve. I befriended one of the admins, really nice guy who was very willing to discuss Steve's medicines and treatment with me. He shared his journey giving me proven tips and advice. His suggestion that rang a bell with me was to obtain "brand" prescriptions for Steve instead of generic. I had previous experience with taking a brand drug (hormone) that worked for me but the generic did not. In fact, this happened to me twice and currently the medicine I use has to be from a certain manufacturer. The supposedly same medicine in the same strength does not have the same effect. I got Steve the brand medicine!

Fast forward to September 2016. Steve had been taking the brand medicine for eight months. His oxygen saturation tests at his doctor visit in September showed improvement. The improvement was so vast, the doctor asked if he still wanted the oxygen. Steve opted for it because he felt breathless.

Steve's insurance changed in September 2016. I called the oxygen company to notify them of the change. They were unconcerned until January 2017 when our balance grew to over $500 due to the insurance change.  Insurance requires a 6-minute walk test without oxygen and with oxygen to approve the charges. Remember the improvement in Steve's oxygen saturation in September? Yesterday, GOD COMPLETELY OVERWHELMED STEVE AND ME!!!

Steve's oxygen saturation during a 6-minute walk did not go below 88%! 87% is the magic number to get oxygen approved. After the test, the doctor came out and spoke with us. "Good News!" he said. Your test today shows YOU DO NOT NEED OXYGEN! Are you willing to call Apria and ask them to come get their bottles? Steve apprehensively said yes. I said aloud "Praise Jesus!".

We are both still a bit rattled but so very thankful to a God who loves and cares for us. Steve is still disabled. He still has a severe lung disease but my oh my, what progress! What a miracle that I give our Heavenly Father all the glory for. Thank you so much for all your prayers and please don't stop interceding on Steve's behalf. Our God is might to save in every way! Now, we have a new challenge that I know God will provide. The new insurance won't pay for the brand medicine. The cost? $1400 a month. That's like nothing for Jesus! Please join us in praying for a quick solution as he's been taking the generic now for a month. These chemo meds take at least eight months to begin working or not working.

We want miracles! Would the walls of Jericho fell if the people had marched around 6 times or 8 times when God said 7? Would Gideon have been defeated if he had not used the men God made lap like a dog? Did David need more than one stone to kill Goliath? I could go on and on with the victories God provides his children. If we want miracles and not a mess, ask and receive, seek and find, knock and walk through God's open glorious door! 

 Seeking miracles,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
Read post

The Fear Whisperer

grandkids

Milisende Isabella Epperson
September 30, 2016
5 lb. 13 oz.

My beautiful second grand girl came to see us twelve short days ago. She's a tiny, perfect masterpiece! Her big sister Lisette loves her so much! We are all so excited God trusts us to care for her. She made me a granmom twice but she ultimately belongs to him. I always think I can't possibly love more deeply and then God shows me I can. This article shares a battle I experienced during the gestation of Milisende.

"Christ-followers contract malaria, bury children, and battle addictions, and, as a result, face fears. It’s not the absence of storms that sets us apart. It’s whom we discover in the storm: an unstirred Christ." - M. Lucado

This quote pretty much sums up my life! Born with a devastating deformity of both feet, I would be lying if I told you I don't fear. I do. Quite a lot. I'm sure my fears don't outnumber yours, mine are just specific to me and yours are specific to you. I feared having a genetic repeat of my deformity when planning for my children. I harbored that same fear with the births of my two granddaughters also. The devil and the doctors caused me to fear with Millisende.

I accompanied Sydnee to her gender reveal appointment. It was a magical day in May as I sat in my car awaiting Syd's arrival at the doctor's office. As usual, I was praying asking God for health and wellness for this baby. I felt confident because my girls and my first granddaughter Lisette are perfect. I finished my prayer thanking God for his many blessings and a voice spoke to me saying "There are worse things than two toes." I said aloud "WHAT?" The speaker said it again. There are worse things than two toes. I was so scared, I couldn't discern who said it. Had God just told me this baby would have problems? I was shaken. Normally, I use God's word to quiet my fears but not today.

After the ultrasound, we needed to buy more pink!  Our happiness was interrupted when the OB doctor informed us of a condition called single umbilical cord (SUC). Millisende had one. Please click the link to read an in-depth explanation. The short version is a "normal" umbilical has one vein and two arteries for food and waste. Milisende's had one vein and one artery which "may" cause complications. Sydnee began to cry. My head was whirling at his words and I wondered if they noticed my heart on the floor. An appointment was made with a high risk doctor (HRDr).

We all tried to be brave. I'd never heard of such a condition, nor had anyone else I told. Thankfully and if I'd thought about it, God knew everything about SUC. I listened to the HRDr as he explained what could go wrong. He contradicted himself, trying to console us, cooing that these things usually never happen. One week the doc would say she is fine. The next week he'd indicate we should be worried. All the while, I had the words "There are worse things than two toes" ringing in my ears, extremely loudly from an undetermined voice. Roller coasters make me puke and I wanted off of this one.

Now y'all are probably thinking why doesn't Tammy know this is the work of the devil? She's overcome so much. She's strong. She believes God. She tries to write to inspire others. I'm sharing my experience with you to hopefully help you from falling into the same snare. The devil knew my weakness and he used it against me. And, I let him. I entertained too many of his thoughts without stopping to inspect what he was saying. My mind was like a house of horrors with clowns laughing in my face and mirror images creating confusion. If I had stopped the tilt-a-whirl, I would have immediately recognized the words were not God's. But I didn't. I wallowed.

I tried to remain positive for my family. I hope they never saw my fear although God knew how I was wrangling with the devil. Never engage the devil. My inferior human hands can't fight the enemy and win. Jesus is victorious, allow his Holy Spirit inside of you, to duke it out with the devil. My deliverance from my fear came early in the morning about two weeks before Milisende was born. I was crying out to God, acknowledging my fearfulness, asking him to help me. My fear whisperer tenderly reminded me "I am not the author of confusion. I do not cause my children to fear." Absolutely! For sure! You are so right Jesus! Joy and confidence flooded my being.  My heart understood his truthful words. And, he didn't have to say it but once! God won't put me on a roller coaster for fun, especially if it makes me sick! So, as Max Lucado said, "It's not the absence of storms that sets us apart. It's whom we discover in the storm: an unstirred Christ."

I can never promise an "unstirred" Tammy but I can always seek to discover Christ, my rock and salvation. The One who stills my fears during my fiercest storms...my Fear Whisperer.

Father, tame my fear 365,
Tammy
Read post
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
© faithlife365. Design by Kate.