Monday, September 19, 2011
Falling and Feelings
Aaahhh Fall! That's what most people think. My daughters love Fall and my husband just loves living period, doesn't voice a particular feelings about any season. Fall is beautiful but it is just that, a fall. We are falling into winter, which sometimes feels like a dark chasm to me. The trees become bare, the grass dies, the ground doesn't produce for several months and the corner of the world we are in is dark more than it is light. God knew winter needed some Light, he sent Jesus in December! We experience the shortest, darkest day of the year in December. Thank God for Christmas, that great Christmas feeling lasts, for me, right up until we are Springing into Summer!
Enough about feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget my feelings of.........have you ever read someone breaking out in song? For you old timers, you will remember that popular song, "Feelings". The rest of you should youtube-it for quite the treat! Anyways, my mom's dog hates me! She's a white pomeranian with orange highlights and her name is Peachie. She looks like a peach, fuzzy all over. Click in the video bar at the left, on the second video right above the YouTube logo and you can see Peachie in action!
Peachie is a great daughter to my mom and dad, a great auntie to my daughters, a nice sister-in-law to Steve, but she is not a good sista to me. My mom lovingly says she doesn't like my scent, what?? I don't like Peachie's scent either but I don't try to bite her! I think she discriminates against handicapped people and it's my limp she doesn't like! She's prejudice to the core. My Mom rescued her from the pound. Her former owners were a hispanic family. I think it may be my dark hair and dark features she doesn't like and most hispanics are short! You can see from the video that she really doesn't like me. This is a video when mom first adopted her, she's over a year old now and she will almost peel my skin back biting me these days!
My daddy calls her Peaches which drives my mom up a wall but, he calls my dog Shorty and his name is Hermie! I call his dog Cookie and her name is Candy! My mom likes the dog because she is pretty! I asked her if she would have sent me back if I had been uglier. What am I thinking? She almost didn't bring me home from the hospital! lol I love joking around about my family and our pets. I love all our pets and all of them are so loving to me except Peachie. She better watch out for me, I wonder if Taco Bell is needing any meat? I'm just not feelin' her!
Just kidding,
Tammy, The Happy Handicap
Enough about feelings, nothing more than feelings, trying to forget my feelings of.........have you ever read someone breaking out in song? For you old timers, you will remember that popular song, "Feelings". The rest of you should youtube-it for quite the treat! Anyways, my mom's dog hates me! She's a white pomeranian with orange highlights and her name is Peachie. She looks like a peach, fuzzy all over. Click in the video bar at the left, on the second video right above the YouTube logo and you can see Peachie in action!
Peachie is a great daughter to my mom and dad, a great auntie to my daughters, a nice sister-in-law to Steve, but she is not a good sista to me. My mom lovingly says she doesn't like my scent, what?? I don't like Peachie's scent either but I don't try to bite her! I think she discriminates against handicapped people and it's my limp she doesn't like! She's prejudice to the core. My Mom rescued her from the pound. Her former owners were a hispanic family. I think it may be my dark hair and dark features she doesn't like and most hispanics are short! You can see from the video that she really doesn't like me. This is a video when mom first adopted her, she's over a year old now and she will almost peel my skin back biting me these days!
My daddy calls her Peaches which drives my mom up a wall but, he calls my dog Shorty and his name is Hermie! I call his dog Cookie and her name is Candy! My mom likes the dog because she is pretty! I asked her if she would have sent me back if I had been uglier. What am I thinking? She almost didn't bring me home from the hospital! lol I love joking around about my family and our pets. I love all our pets and all of them are so loving to me except Peachie. She better watch out for me, I wonder if Taco Bell is needing any meat? I'm just not feelin' her!
Just kidding,
Tammy, The Happy Handicap
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Throwing my Hands Up!
Have you ever watched that movie "The Emperor's New Groove"? I feel like Yzma when her and Kronk were riding the roller coaster to the lab and he said "Yzma, put your hands in the air"! My hands are in the air, throwin them up, and saying go figure. But, don't go figure because it will never add up, not in real life or in your head. Below are some things I find strange today:
1. Why are you told to eat fiber when you get older? The fiber may move your insides but it can't move your outsides any faster! Hands up, figuring on how to get to the bathroom more quickly!
2. Why does Steve invite me to pick worms off the tomatoes and then gather them when every time I make homemade salsa for him, he carries the PACE to the table? Hands up, figuring maybe he just overlooked the big bowl of bright, beautiful, red stuff with the tortilla chips sitting right next to it!
3. Why do people still use the word crippled when being politically correct is so popular? Two hands way up and figuring it's so 2008 and they're so 2000 and late!
4. Why do people think I don't notice them staring at my feet? Wishing I could fly away with two hands and arms in the air and figuring I am just too interesting not to stare at!
5. Why do people get bad attitudes as they get older? Hoping to get on a roller coaster and get my hands high in the air and figuring I'll just go to Disney World and ride in a hoveround!
I love Disney World and I think everyone should see it snow on Main Street USA at least once in their lifetime!
Dreaming of Fantasyland,
Tammy, the Happy Handicap
1. Why are you told to eat fiber when you get older? The fiber may move your insides but it can't move your outsides any faster! Hands up, figuring on how to get to the bathroom more quickly!
2. Why does Steve invite me to pick worms off the tomatoes and then gather them when every time I make homemade salsa for him, he carries the PACE to the table? Hands up, figuring maybe he just overlooked the big bowl of bright, beautiful, red stuff with the tortilla chips sitting right next to it!
3. Why do people still use the word crippled when being politically correct is so popular? Two hands way up and figuring it's so 2008 and they're so 2000 and late!
4. Why do people think I don't notice them staring at my feet? Wishing I could fly away with two hands and arms in the air and figuring I am just too interesting not to stare at!
5. Why do people get bad attitudes as they get older? Hoping to get on a roller coaster and get my hands high in the air and figuring I'll just go to Disney World and ride in a hoveround!
I love Disney World and I think everyone should see it snow on Main Street USA at least once in their lifetime!
Dreaming of Fantasyland,
Tammy, the Happy Handicap
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Ahhh! A Night and Day in Savannah
our trip to savannah to check my air conditioning started at 4:00 pm when steve got home from work on a tuesday afternoon. we went by college and picked up sloane because the trip held more than just a check of my a/c but i've signed a contract and obligated myself not to tell. after we picked up sloane, the adventure began straight through downtown atlanta. i was driving so fast until i hit that downtown traffic stop that my a/c was working perfectly. remember, it works when i'm going fast but not when i'm going slow. steve kept telling me to watch this car and watch that car until i had to crank the a/c on frigid because i was so nervous and perspiring. sloane said "don't worry dad, she won't hit them, they are not parked". sloane is so smart because she is right. my car has this uncanny tendency to gravitate toward parked cars and smash right into them.
we rode right on down south and at some unknown point decided to stop and eat at cracker barrel. we all like to eat at cracker barrel because they always have a chair waiting for you on their porch and a BIG checkerboard with BIG checkers. i reckon they like handicap people because they save me a parking spot right at the door and then greet me sometimes by opening the door. what makes cracker barrel special to me is they don't discriminate against short people with handicaps! have you ever noticed they keep them adult-size rockers and the handicap-size rockers both on the porch right next to one another?
once inside, i was headed to the hostess station to put down our name. there was a woman standing in front of me pickin at the candy display, pickin up every kind of candy on the shelf, examining it and puttin it back down. the hostess looked up, caught my attention and i said, 3 please! steve, being his usual kind self, proceeded to tell me that sloane and i had jumped right in front of that woman fiddlin with the candy and he openly told the woman to excuse us that we were rude. i started to tell him and her that she didn't need to be fiddlin with the candy that if she would go on and get a table they would feed her real food but i didn't want to be rude twice. the hostess seated the woman and then came back and asked me how many? i simply replied "two rude and one nice"!
when we got seated, sloane noticed something white on her dad's shirt. she said "dad, what's that on your shirt?" he looked at it and hurriedly brushed it off. she said "what is it, dandruff?" and he said "NO! it's pieces of skin falling out of my nose". we started laughing so hard because he was so embarrassed. he said "shhhhh, don't tell everyone they will be staring at my nose". we didn't care much and kept right on laughing because we were thinking it served him right for saying we were rude when we really weren't. steve has a terrible case of eczema and it causes skin to fall off of him in several places. sometimes i think i'm married to a reptile because of the skin he leaves laying around, long and round pieces that i'm not sure where they came from.
i saw the cutest plate in cracker barrel that said gobble till you wobble and i thought since i already wobble without the gobble that i would adapt this as my new fall saying.....gobble when you wobble! i think i will add a real turkey gobble to it when i say it (at least as close to a turkey as i can sound). i think it will be a funny addition to our fall activities! with this cool weather coming on, the decision on my air conditioning is that i think it can wait until next summer to repair. i'm startin to like riding with my windows down. it accomplishes several things at one time, 1) gives me a new hairdo, 2) cools me down a bit and 3) the humidity hydrates my skin! i've included a pic below. steve says this is what i look like after we take a trip!
feeling fallish,
tammy, the happy handicap
we rode right on down south and at some unknown point decided to stop and eat at cracker barrel. we all like to eat at cracker barrel because they always have a chair waiting for you on their porch and a BIG checkerboard with BIG checkers. i reckon they like handicap people because they save me a parking spot right at the door and then greet me sometimes by opening the door. what makes cracker barrel special to me is they don't discriminate against short people with handicaps! have you ever noticed they keep them adult-size rockers and the handicap-size rockers both on the porch right next to one another?
once inside, i was headed to the hostess station to put down our name. there was a woman standing in front of me pickin at the candy display, pickin up every kind of candy on the shelf, examining it and puttin it back down. the hostess looked up, caught my attention and i said, 3 please! steve, being his usual kind self, proceeded to tell me that sloane and i had jumped right in front of that woman fiddlin with the candy and he openly told the woman to excuse us that we were rude. i started to tell him and her that she didn't need to be fiddlin with the candy that if she would go on and get a table they would feed her real food but i didn't want to be rude twice. the hostess seated the woman and then came back and asked me how many? i simply replied "two rude and one nice"!
when we got seated, sloane noticed something white on her dad's shirt. she said "dad, what's that on your shirt?" he looked at it and hurriedly brushed it off. she said "what is it, dandruff?" and he said "NO! it's pieces of skin falling out of my nose". we started laughing so hard because he was so embarrassed. he said "shhhhh, don't tell everyone they will be staring at my nose". we didn't care much and kept right on laughing because we were thinking it served him right for saying we were rude when we really weren't. steve has a terrible case of eczema and it causes skin to fall off of him in several places. sometimes i think i'm married to a reptile because of the skin he leaves laying around, long and round pieces that i'm not sure where they came from.
i saw the cutest plate in cracker barrel that said gobble till you wobble and i thought since i already wobble without the gobble that i would adapt this as my new fall saying.....gobble when you wobble! i think i will add a real turkey gobble to it when i say it (at least as close to a turkey as i can sound). i think it will be a funny addition to our fall activities! with this cool weather coming on, the decision on my air conditioning is that i think it can wait until next summer to repair. i'm startin to like riding with my windows down. it accomplishes several things at one time, 1) gives me a new hairdo, 2) cools me down a bit and 3) the humidity hydrates my skin! i've included a pic below. steve says this is what i look like after we take a trip!
feeling fallish,
tammy, the happy handicap
Brad called! He wants his sexy back!
Saturday, August 20, 2011
what a weekend!
last sunday, steve and i had the opportunity to entertain three guys from l.a., that's los angeles, california not lower alabamie! they were here doing a music video for our future son-in-law, trey's band and trey asked me to cook breakfast for them. now since these californians didn't know me and know that i am a happy handicap, i thought i might present myself in something that would make them think i'm just "normal" little me. i told sydnee and sloane that i was gonna wear my long dress instead of my normal pair of shorts so they couldn't see my fine legs and maybe, just maybe they wouldn't notice i limp! (i included a pic of me in my dress below)
well, the breakfast went great. i made biscuits (from the freezer) but they thought they were homemade and since they didn't ask me directly, i didn't tell them no different. i had never made that much gravy to feed 11 people so my girls and me said a prayer over it while i was puttin it together. it was the best gravy i have ever made, no joke! i had cream cheese danish with some fruit that sydnee fixed in a pretty plate all fancy-like and scrambled eggs. one of the guys from l.a. said that everything is fresher in georgia. he said the milk tastes fresher and he told me my eggs were the best he had ever eaten, no fibbing. he asked me how i got them so fresh and i told him it was because i had just gone outside that morning and lifted the chicken off of them, brought them in and put them in the pan while they were still warm from the hen's feathers. his eyes got really big and wide and wanted to go see the chickens. at that point, i had to come clean and tell him, nah, i got them from the grocery store like everybody else and i couldn't figure why my eggs were any better than anyone else's! i started to tell them my theory of my being short helps me cook better because i am so close to the stove and the pans, it's like having a birds eye view and I don't over stir!
the conversation at breakfast went smoothly and just about the time the guys were about to leave, steve turns to them and says "Guys, y'all don't know anyone in l.a. that works with silicone, do you?" and i thought, oh no! yep, he continued right on to say, well, tammy's handicapped and she wears custom silicone prosthetics and i was wondering if you knew anybody in the movie business that works with silicone that might tell us how to make her some feet! they didn't know anybody and i just acted like i didn't even notice he said anything. i decided right then and there that if i was ever gonna try and mask my handicap again, i would definitely let steve in on the plot! i love him because i know he always has my best interest at heart and was trying to help me get my feet cheaper where he could buy me more pairs of them. the la guys didn't blink an eye so i'm pretty sure they had already noticed i limp.
after our guests left, steve invited me out to our small garden to help him look for worms and pick them off the tomato plants. i don't particularly like to do this exercise but steve loves it and he says it gives us some together time and increases our tomato harvest. i think it just makes me hot and my feet hurt and he's much more interested in the worms than he is being with me. i don't know about yours but our tomato plants have about quit bearing and i told steve just let the worms eat the plants and the tomatoes too if they want them!
next week i'll tell you about our trip to savannah to test out my air conditioning. you won't want to miss that post! talk to you then...
well, the breakfast went great. i made biscuits (from the freezer) but they thought they were homemade and since they didn't ask me directly, i didn't tell them no different. i had never made that much gravy to feed 11 people so my girls and me said a prayer over it while i was puttin it together. it was the best gravy i have ever made, no joke! i had cream cheese danish with some fruit that sydnee fixed in a pretty plate all fancy-like and scrambled eggs. one of the guys from l.a. said that everything is fresher in georgia. he said the milk tastes fresher and he told me my eggs were the best he had ever eaten, no fibbing. he asked me how i got them so fresh and i told him it was because i had just gone outside that morning and lifted the chicken off of them, brought them in and put them in the pan while they were still warm from the hen's feathers. his eyes got really big and wide and wanted to go see the chickens. at that point, i had to come clean and tell him, nah, i got them from the grocery store like everybody else and i couldn't figure why my eggs were any better than anyone else's! i started to tell them my theory of my being short helps me cook better because i am so close to the stove and the pans, it's like having a birds eye view and I don't over stir!
the conversation at breakfast went smoothly and just about the time the guys were about to leave, steve turns to them and says "Guys, y'all don't know anyone in l.a. that works with silicone, do you?" and i thought, oh no! yep, he continued right on to say, well, tammy's handicapped and she wears custom silicone prosthetics and i was wondering if you knew anybody in the movie business that works with silicone that might tell us how to make her some feet! they didn't know anybody and i just acted like i didn't even notice he said anything. i decided right then and there that if i was ever gonna try and mask my handicap again, i would definitely let steve in on the plot! i love him because i know he always has my best interest at heart and was trying to help me get my feet cheaper where he could buy me more pairs of them. the la guys didn't blink an eye so i'm pretty sure they had already noticed i limp.
after our guests left, steve invited me out to our small garden to help him look for worms and pick them off the tomato plants. i don't particularly like to do this exercise but steve loves it and he says it gives us some together time and increases our tomato harvest. i think it just makes me hot and my feet hurt and he's much more interested in the worms than he is being with me. i don't know about yours but our tomato plants have about quit bearing and i told steve just let the worms eat the plants and the tomatoes too if they want them!
next week i'll tell you about our trip to savannah to test out my air conditioning. you won't want to miss that post! talk to you then...
bye now,
Tammy, the happy handicap
Saturday, August 13, 2011
tests and trips
My air conditioning is on the fritz in my car and the repair shop estimated $2400 to fix it. Steve asked me if I thought I could make it through the summer without it and I said I didn't know. He asked me when I would know and I told him I would probably know after a short trip. So, I scheduled a trip to Savannah next week. He wanted to know why a trip would help me make up my mind. I told him my air works when the car is moving fast but quits when I am idling and I'm pretty sure that the traffic idles a lot on River Street in downtown Savannah. He was excited I had come up with such a good test and agreed to go with me to judge it for himself. We'll let you know how hot we were when we get back and if I'll be able to do without the a/c.
One evening this week, Steve blew a gasket and we drove all the way to Cleveland, TN to get one. I'm not sure where that teeny tiny gasket goes and on what but I'm sure he'll figure it out. He's smart that way! The next day after that, he decided he needed some cooling off because he was sweating so much trying to install that gasket. His shop is not air conditioned! I spent most of my day searching for him an air conditioning unit on that internet. This time, we drove all the way to Lowe's in Kennesaw, GA to pick up an a/c unit for him. I guess he couldn't make it through the rest of the summer without it!
While we were at Lowe's we shopped for some toilets for the home. Steve is convinced we need a couple of them energy efficient flushers that saves power and water. He told the salesman we need a short toilet because I have short legs. I do have short legs but it was kinda embarrassing when the salesman made me sit on one of those toilets to see just how short of one I needed to do my business comfortably. I thought it was a little much too when he looked for a ruler and he had a 25 ft. measuring tape swinging from his belt. I was wondering why Steve even mentioned it. But I know he had my best interest at heart, not to mention the environment and Georgia Power.
I forgot to mention I wanted to buy some of that ginger root at the supermarket because I've heard there are some pretty fabulous dishes that can be made with it. Steve told me "Nah" that he'd take me to one of them fancy Chinese restaurants in Dalton with the red dragons out front. I got so excited because I've heard they have a bridge and a fish pond you walk over when you go through the door. Steve told me he'd take me between 11 and 2 because they serve small portions then. I feel so privileged to have a concerned husband who is always looking out for my weight and well being. He said the prices are cheaper then too! I can't wait! I love my husband and our children. We are just one happy family!
Until next time,
Tammy, the Happy Handicap
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