Friday, February 24, 2012
my crooked view of cleaning!
It's cleaning day! I write that as I am blowing all the air out of my lungs from desperation and exhaustion! I have been cleaning the entire day. I don't call myself a housewife because I'm not married to this house! This house hasn't courted me, proposed to me or kissed me, so, I'm not really a housewife rather a housekeeper or maybe even a house slave! I enjoy a clean house but I despise getting it to that state. I've made myself a few rules to live by and wanted to share them with you.
1. Don't sweep or vacuum everyday. I take pride in my work and like to see results! I get bigger and grander results if I only sweep or vacuum once a week.
3. Only use dishwasher safe cookware. I've come to the conclusion if it's not safe to put in the dishwasher, it must not be safe to cook in!
4. Don't mop everyday. I know hard surfaces are resilient but I'm not taking any chances on wearing mine out prematurely. Besides, if you can't see the dirt, it's probably not dirty, right?
5. Don't do laundry on rainy days. If you do, you can't hang it out on the clothesline to dry which increases the electricity bill. This rule has worked out pretty well for me in 2012, it's been extremely wet and my laundry days have been scarce.
6. Don't clean the shower everyday. Keeping a tight budget this year and looking for ways to make money, I came across a research project that pays 15 cents a pound for mold and mildew (that's more than tin cans). It takes several days for it to grow so even though I'm allergic, me, mold and mildew are the 3 amigos!
7. Don't clean the refrigerator everyday. I'm hoping my experiments will get me a guest appearance on The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is my hero!
8. Recycle only on Thursdays. I go around 2 pm every Thursday and there's no one else there! It's easier for me to pick up items out of the "Free Stuff" pile without being seen.
9. Don't ever move your husband's belongings anytime. Ladies, this needs no explanation!
10. Don't ever clean the upstairs. Since me and Steve are practically empty-nesters, nobody goes up there anyway.
Now.....I have to clean more than it seems because I don't want Steve to think I'm just sitting at home all day doing nothing....that, would make me a house sitter!
1. Don't sweep or vacuum everyday. I take pride in my work and like to see results! I get bigger and grander results if I only sweep or vacuum once a week.
2. Don't dust everyday. I have environmental allergies and it is my healthy theory that keeping a house too clean prevents my immune system from building antibodies.
3. Only use dishwasher safe cookware. I've come to the conclusion if it's not safe to put in the dishwasher, it must not be safe to cook in!
4. Don't mop everyday. I know hard surfaces are resilient but I'm not taking any chances on wearing mine out prematurely. Besides, if you can't see the dirt, it's probably not dirty, right?
5. Don't do laundry on rainy days. If you do, you can't hang it out on the clothesline to dry which increases the electricity bill. This rule has worked out pretty well for me in 2012, it's been extremely wet and my laundry days have been scarce.
6. Don't clean the shower everyday. Keeping a tight budget this year and looking for ways to make money, I came across a research project that pays 15 cents a pound for mold and mildew (that's more than tin cans). It takes several days for it to grow so even though I'm allergic, me, mold and mildew are the 3 amigos!
7. Don't clean the refrigerator everyday. I'm hoping my experiments will get me a guest appearance on The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is my hero!
8. Recycle only on Thursdays. I go around 2 pm every Thursday and there's no one else there! It's easier for me to pick up items out of the "Free Stuff" pile without being seen.
9. Don't ever move your husband's belongings anytime. Ladies, this needs no explanation!
10. Don't ever clean the upstairs. Since me and Steve are practically empty-nesters, nobody goes up there anyway.
Now.....I have to clean more than it seems because I don't want Steve to think I'm just sitting at home all day doing nothing....that, would make me a house sitter!
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
It's Steve's Birthday!
Happy Birthday to my best friend and husband, Steve! He's 55 today! We've been married (26.5 years)almost half as long as he's been alive. I wonder if he's calculated that up or looked at that in such a way? On the other hand, I've been married to him longer than half my life at 48. It's a happy day, let's talk about something else. lol
Steve and I have shared many good times together, bad times together and everything in between. With the help of God, we have two beautiful daughters, Sydnee and Sloane and a beautiful home. I bet your mind went to the house we live in made of white vinyl siding and brick. But, I'm talking about the home you see in the picture below.
This home is a shared bond of love that keeps us warm when the cold winds blow, makes us feel safe to sleep at night, welcomes us with outstretched arms, is always waiting for our return and keeps a light on in the window of our hearts for each other to find our way. Yep, I definitely love my husband and as one commenter said on Facebook, this picture represents "Total Happiness".
I'm not a sentimental person or a hopeless romantic, must've slipped off there for a moment. I made Steve some pretzel Rolo bites for his birthday to share with his co-workers. I also put on my makeup today, on a Tuesday, so he wouldn't have to strain his aging eyes to see my beauty!
Truly yours,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
p.s. If you haven't watched the video at the top lefthand of the screen, please do!
Steve and I have shared many good times together, bad times together and everything in between. With the help of God, we have two beautiful daughters, Sydnee and Sloane and a beautiful home. I bet your mind went to the house we live in made of white vinyl siding and brick. But, I'm talking about the home you see in the picture below.
This home is a shared bond of love that keeps us warm when the cold winds blow, makes us feel safe to sleep at night, welcomes us with outstretched arms, is always waiting for our return and keeps a light on in the window of our hearts for each other to find our way. Yep, I definitely love my husband and as one commenter said on Facebook, this picture represents "Total Happiness".
I'm not a sentimental person or a hopeless romantic, must've slipped off there for a moment. I made Steve some pretzel Rolo bites for his birthday to share with his co-workers. I also put on my makeup today, on a Tuesday, so he wouldn't have to strain his aging eyes to see my beauty!
Truly yours,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
p.s. If you haven't watched the video at the top lefthand of the screen, please do!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
I've got a hitch in my get-along!
I am looking forward to 2012! Are you? I have set myself some goals, not resolutions! I want to lose another 10 pounds. I lost 12 in 2011 and want to add to that victory. I also want to speak and share my testimony at least two times a month. You can help me with this goal. If your church would entertain the idea of me sharing my story at some point, please email me at tammy.stafford@hotmail.com and I will be overjoyed to contact them. My third goal is to finish one of the books I have started. You can help me with this goal too. Please leave me a comment on facebook and let me know which title you would be most interested in reading: How to lose your life for Jesus or How to land your man the old fashioned way! My fourth goal is to re-enter the college world and seek a degree in Christian Counseling. Wish me luck! My 5th goal and final written goal is to recruit travelers for my group tour to Venice, Florence and Rome, Italy. For more information please contact me or click here.
My final thought for 2011. I am currently reading Bill Clinton's new book "Back to Work" and Steve Jobs' biography concurrently. I'm figuring when I get finished with both, sometime in early January 2012, I should be able to solve our current economic crisis on an Apple "i" device! Happy New Year!
Gettin' along pretty well,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
Saturday, December 24, 2011
All I want for Christmas is memories!
Who knew? Just who knew that in 2011, technology would have changed so much that it would control my memories? Actually, the technology is being controlled by a photographer but I am still a slave to it. All I want for Christmas is memories from my daughter's wedding this year. One little hard plastic disk with data. Data that has magically embedded four hours of one day in October 2011 that cannot be relived or recreated. I'm not a very sentimental person either but I would love to have the pictures from my daughter's wedding. But I want you to know, if we don't get them, I'm still a very happy, sorely disappointed, handicap! My emotions run deep today and it feels better to talk about them. :)
On a lighter note, with faint kidney stone pain and everyone present and accounted for, we opened our gifts this morning. I got things I've been wanting, a blow dryer, an iPhone car charger, Sydnee happily married, the new Bill Clinton book "Back to Work", a nice stand mixer, a successful gallbladder surgery for Sloane and money. I'm already reading the Steve Jobs biography and I'm figuring that when I finish both books, I'll be able to use my Apple "i" products to solve the current world economic crisis! I got Steve a Cracker Barrel rocking chair, maybe he'll have it put together by the time he retires! lol
I hope each of you create a memory or two of your own this Christmas. We are all blessed beyond comprehension in our least favorite moments. I don't really even like pictures but the day of my daughters wedding, I was so busy making sure everything was going correctly (being Tammy) that I didn't really "enjoy" the day, I was managing it without a thought that we would still be picture-less 10 weeks after the wedding. Pictures are nice but I've learned a valuable lesson. Don't rely on them to enjoy and reminisce big events in your life. Breathe in each moment you live embedding your own data or images into your brain and then you can random access them whenever you choose, even without a power supply.
Merry Christmas,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
On a lighter note, with faint kidney stone pain and everyone present and accounted for, we opened our gifts this morning. I got things I've been wanting, a blow dryer, an iPhone car charger, Sydnee happily married, the new Bill Clinton book "Back to Work", a nice stand mixer, a successful gallbladder surgery for Sloane and money. I'm already reading the Steve Jobs biography and I'm figuring that when I finish both books, I'll be able to use my Apple "i" products to solve the current world economic crisis! I got Steve a Cracker Barrel rocking chair, maybe he'll have it put together by the time he retires! lol
I hope each of you create a memory or two of your own this Christmas. We are all blessed beyond comprehension in our least favorite moments. I don't really even like pictures but the day of my daughters wedding, I was so busy making sure everything was going correctly (being Tammy) that I didn't really "enjoy" the day, I was managing it without a thought that we would still be picture-less 10 weeks after the wedding. Pictures are nice but I've learned a valuable lesson. Don't rely on them to enjoy and reminisce big events in your life. Breathe in each moment you live embedding your own data or images into your brain and then you can random access them whenever you choose, even without a power supply.
Merry Christmas,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
Thursday, November 17, 2011
things every woman should know about men
i have learned so much in 26 years of marriage that i can't possibly post it all. i created a video that says it better. the video can be watched from the video bar. It shows how a wife should treat her husband!
i've learned that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach. i don't disagree that men love good cookin', but i've always wondered about this cliche because according to the human body, once you've reached a man's stomach, you've already passed his heart! what about women who can't cook? do men not love them? the answer is yes they do because food doesn't have anything to do with the heart nor a man's love. if a man loves you, he'll like your cookin' whether it's good or not. for example, if i burn dinner, steve says "i love burnt biscuits or i like mine burned", whatever it takes to make me feel good. lesson #1: the way to a man's heart is to be sure he loves you before you start cooking for him!
i've also learned that the phrase "if momma ain't happy, nobody ain't happy" should be like this "if daddy ain't happy, nobody ain't happy"! You're probably wondering how to keep daddy happy? here's how:
1. If he's mowing or working outside, always carry him a drink of water
2. If you borrow one of his tools, return it to it's proper place the same day
3. Don't borrow his beard trimmers to cut anything
4. When using the bathroom, please close the door
5. When positioning a tv in a room, make sure the sun don't effect the picture
6. If you drive his truck, make sure the seat and mirrors are back in their original position
7. His place setting at the table should include a big fork, a big glass and a big plate
If you're laughing because some of these sound familiar, our men could make the list for making momma happy and it would sound just as ridiculous and petty!
I've also learned that:
Happy 26th anniversary to me,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
i've learned that the way to a man's heart is not through his stomach. i don't disagree that men love good cookin', but i've always wondered about this cliche because according to the human body, once you've reached a man's stomach, you've already passed his heart! what about women who can't cook? do men not love them? the answer is yes they do because food doesn't have anything to do with the heart nor a man's love. if a man loves you, he'll like your cookin' whether it's good or not. for example, if i burn dinner, steve says "i love burnt biscuits or i like mine burned", whatever it takes to make me feel good. lesson #1: the way to a man's heart is to be sure he loves you before you start cooking for him!
i've also learned that the phrase "if momma ain't happy, nobody ain't happy" should be like this "if daddy ain't happy, nobody ain't happy"! You're probably wondering how to keep daddy happy? here's how:
1. If he's mowing or working outside, always carry him a drink of water
2. If you borrow one of his tools, return it to it's proper place the same day
3. Don't borrow his beard trimmers to cut anything
4. When using the bathroom, please close the door
5. When positioning a tv in a room, make sure the sun don't effect the picture
6. If you drive his truck, make sure the seat and mirrors are back in their original position
7. His place setting at the table should include a big fork, a big glass and a big plate
If you're laughing because some of these sound familiar, our men could make the list for making momma happy and it would sound just as ridiculous and petty!
I've also learned that:
- My husband is part of me. I wouldn't treat myself poorly, so don't treat him poorly
- Whatever I need, he's also been able to provide
- When I cry, he can make me laugh
- When I'm weak, he's strong
- Trust, honesty and commitment are priceless
- He's smarter than you think, listen to him
- Nurture his dreams, fulfill his desires
Happy 26th anniversary to me,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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