Sunday, April 28, 2013

Jesus Jokes!

jesus winks
Do you think the Holy Trinity ever takes a day off? A day or week when they just put everything on auto-pilot and take a vacation? Everyone loves to laugh, cut-up, destress, take a vacation and enjoy life. We are made in God's image so I'm thinking he must have a few days
set aside to do a little vacating too! I've been dealing with a kidney stone for about two months which is no picnic. My spirituality has been distracted by pain! So, I'll share a few jokes today. I hope you find some humor in these...oh and....schedule a vacation!

A friend told me this one today. The deacons of a church asked the pastor to speak to a man they found untidy and unsightly for the church. He always sat on the front row very visible, didn't smell nice and his clothes were old and ragged. The pastor did as his men asked him and instructed the gentleman to get some new, modern clothes. The man told him he didn't have the money to buy clothes. The pastor told him if he prayed God would get him some clothes. The next Sunday the man came back to church in the same old clothes. The pastor asked him if he had prayed to God for new clothes. The man replied "Yes!" The pastor said "Did God speak to you about the clothes?" The man again replied "Yes!" The pastor inquired "What did he say?" The man said "He said he'll have to get back with me about the clothes. It's been so long since he's been to this church, he's having to ask around to see what ya'll are wearing these days!"

A Sunday School teacher asked her children on the way to church "Why is it important to be quiet in church?" They replied "Because people are sleeping!"

Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

Police Quote: "In God we trust, all others are suspects!"

Why do we say 'amen' at the end of a pray instead of 'awomen'? The same reason we sing 'Hymns' instead of hers!

My daughters love to hang out with Jesus!
So glad Jesus jokes,
The Happy Handicap

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