Friday, December 6, 2013
5 Reasons Why I hate the Elf on a Shelf
Bah! Humbug! I know I'm totally un-American and such but I wish all those elves on shelves would just fall off! I don't want an elf creeping around my house at night doing things I wouldn't dare let my children get away with, do you? That 3-letter acronym that means almost the same thing as "what the crap?" would be appropriate here but my husband forbids me to use it in my writings. Calm down, you're almost as bad as him! It's just a word. You peeps have made it what it is today...infamous!
Anyway, I've seen so many of those boring elf pictures on facebook I'm sick of them already and it's only December 6th. Now, if you have an elf and L.O.V.E. him/her, please take this post in the vain it is written in which is jokingly or humorously for the more intelligent folks. Yay, I'm in one of my moods today. Beware if you dare to read on.
How do I not love thee little elf, let me tell you the whys:
- I want to slap that smirk right off your face. Who says you can look at anyone with that knowing grin like you're always chanting in your pointed little head "I'm the Elf on a Shelf, I can do anything I want and get away with it sucker!" I hate the elf for the smirk on his face.
- His/Her arms and legs are more toned than mine! I hate the elf because he lays around for 11 months of every year and never gains an ounce.
- I hate the elf because he has no feet. I know I'm the "Happy" Handicap. I admit I have feet problems or a lack thereof. My husband always says I make everything about me but seriously why would you make an elf, give him hands and not make him any feet. I almost feel sorry for him on this one but instead of sympathy, I prefer to just hate the footless little guy.
- I hate the elf because his creator went to my alma mater. If the idea was floating around on campus, why didn't it land in my head? Why didn't I get to become popular and make millions? Why isn't a creepy little elf I created sitting on the Kardashians' mantle? Yep, I hate the elf because I didn't think of him first.
- I hate the elf because short elves got no reason to live. They got little hands, little eyes, they sit around telling great big lies. They got tiny little teeth and a pixie haircut that stinks!
I'm all done now,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Super Easy Reese's Frosting Drizzle
Do you ever have this problem?
You plan to take that certain dish to a get-together
mentally inventory your pantry for the ingredients
ah! yes! they're all there.
CRISIS AVERTED!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
5 Positive Things about "Auto-Correct"
If you use technology, you've probably experienced auto-correct. Auto-correct is a built-in vocabulary that automatically corrects "supposed" errors. For example, I might be typing the word "of" and auto-correct changes it to "if". Lots of funny jokes results from auto-corrected text messages. Email uses it too. A lot of people hate auto-correct and they turn it off. Rightfully so, auto-correct has a history of ruining people's lives! Auto-correct has been known to turn the word "Disney" into "Divorce". You can see how this could present a problem...We're going to Disney becomes We're going to divorce!
Is auto-correction really that bad? Here's my thought..."If you're God-connected, you're auto-corrected!" The Bible says in Proverbs 3:11-12 "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: for whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth." God gave us scripture for correction (2 Timothy 3:16). It's upsetting when a text gets corrected incorrectly! We don't need a machine correcting us. But we do need a Holy God to help us correct our incorrect ways. How many times have you turned your auto-correct off? Don't you love (maybe not) when you're thinking about eating a Reese cup and God says "Should you eat that?" and you're like "YAY! I should eat it!" You just turned off auto-correction. Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to get up on Sunday morning? Have you overrode your auto-correct and stayed in bed? I have!
Just say YES to God's auto-correction. He can positiviely help you:
1. Bite your tongue
2. Turn the other cheek
3. Look in the right direction
4. Improve your life
5. Lose weight (lol, just kidding but it could happen)
I couldn't do without my wireless connection to God complete with auto-correct. I don't have to worry about sending or receiving too much data, losing His signal or being charged extra. God's plan is free and doesn't require a new contract every several years! What do you like or not like about God's auto-correct? Share your thoughts with a comment below.
Standing corrected,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
Monday, December 2, 2013
You could be a Star!
Yes,
YOU COULD BE A STAR!
every day...
Can you imagine
following a star to the place where Jesus lay in the manger? Watching in anticipation as the star leads you across a desert terrain to a stable to visit a King!
The Bible tells us
in Matthew 2:2 that the wise men saw his star in the east and came to worship
him.
Can we shine as bright as the star that led the wise men to Jesus?
Just
a few short chapters over in Matthew 5:16 the Bible instructs US to "Let
your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify
your father which is in heaven." I believe that is exactly what the star
was doing that night in Bethlehem; shining for men to see his good works and
glorifying him. Once we accept Jesus, he begins a good work in us. His
Holy Spirit can shine through us so men can see his glory.
Sometimes I think I
made a special trip to the hardware store to buy a dimmer switch for my
glorious light. Actually, I don't even need a dimmer switch on me to become "Dim for Christ"! Do you ever feel the same way? You know we can keep hitting our dimmer switches until you can't see
Jesus in us at all. The good news is we have control of how brightly our lights
shine for Jesus. We need to remove our dimmer switches and glow brightly all the time!
So how can we let our lights shine? Live for him and not ourselves.
Do his good work! Share the glorious news of Christ! Wouldn't it be amazing if
our lights were so bright people were blinded like Paul? You've
always wanted to be a star, haven't you? Now’s your chance!
Be that star this Christmas that leads someone to Jesus!
Illuminated365,
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Many Thanks
HAPPY THANKSGIVING
Being enriched in every thing to all bountifulness, which causeth through us thanksgiving to God.
2 Corinthians 9:11I dare to say that we are enriched bountifully in many things. The question I ask is which of those things causes us to give thanks to God? Some folks give thanks before they eat, they are thankful for food. Some people thank God for safety, salvation and shelter. Last week with the birth of my grandchild, I thanked God for his love being so apparent in babies; their serenity, sweetness and perfect spirit is so HIM! Looking at her causes my spirit to overflow with thankful gladness. I know God enjoys being praised. Many things causes me to give thanks unto God. How about you? What causes you to give thanks?
Show me and the Almighty some love by leaving a comment. I'd like to know what causes your heart to be thankful.
Praising Him thankfully,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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