Posts with the label divorce
2009 - The first year in my life without a public job.
Quitting my job was the last thing I envisioned for our lives. I loved my job and the people. Leaving employment without a backup plan was one of the scariest and most faithful things I've ever done. God had a plan. I followed it. His plans always work out.
2010 - I published a book and Sydnee graduated college.
I knew from an early age writing a book was to be written into my life. I just had no idea
My week has been rough. My week contained so many variables; some favorable and some unfavorable. (I'll admit it, I have an accounting background.) I've been blessed. I've learned things. I've been schooled. I've lost my temper. I've exercised self-control. I went to the movies. I ate out too many times. I weeded my pool fence. I broke my left prosthetic. I made me a new left prosthetic. I could go on, but you get it. It has been a week!
My life has been enriched over the past months with my high school bff, Mary Ann. I credit Mary Ann for my marriage to Steve. God placed her exactly where she needed to be in my life to accomplish his goal for Steve and me. Shortly after the "lost my temper" stage this week, Mary Ann sent me the picture above with the following message. "I bet God finds our efforts to do anything amusing. These are plants I threw in my trash pile that wouldn't grow in the greenhouse. They are not even planted and look how pretty." God used those words to teach me but also to show me some things divorce has taught me. Here are the top 5 Things I Learned from Divorce (in no particular order):
- Divorce hurts. It hurts everyone it touches, especially this ex-mother-in-law. Divorce is one of those excruciating hurts like a kidney stone. You know you have a stone. You wake up feeling pretty good and BAM! Within the next five minutes the blood supply is cut off to your kidney! You immediately find yourself rolling around in the floor begging, screaming, praying for comfort, even if it's only for the shortest while. The pain subsides. You think it's over but here it comes again...worse.
- Divorce is necessary. My parents' 60th wedding anniversary was yesterday. Kudos to them! Steve and I will celebrate 33 years in November. Divorce was not in my vocabulary until God showed me, sometimes, it is so necessary. I couldn't even ask him to stop it.
- Divorce is ugly. I can't find one thing pretty about divorce. My daughter's tears of sorrow are ugly. My grandchildren riding off for the weekend is ugly. The destruction of the completeness of my family is ugly. The mistrust and resentment are ugly. Being wronged is ugly. Period.
- Unconditional love is unstoppable. It is difficult for me to understand why I still love my ex-son-in-law so much. He makes me so mad I could rip his head off! But, I can't stop loving him. I can't stop feeling for him when he creates his own demise. I can't stop making concessions for him when he deserves none. God's love in me for him cries out for mercy, grace and above all, forgiveness. If unconditional love were stoppable, Jesus would have succumbed under the weight of the cross. He fell, but got back up, not once but three times. Praise be to Jesus for his love for us!
- I can't change things. This is the hardest lesson ever.
Today, when Mary Ann sent me the photo of her trash pile, it hit me. Mary Ann threw out what she couldn't get to grow. She gave up. Her plants flourished. God showed me I must give up my ex-son-in-law. Quit hoping he will grow. Stop wishing he will be different. I'm asking Jesus to help me release him so he can find his way into the good God has prepared for him. I'm praying my release will somehow help him find a better life. I can do nothing but God can morph a caterpillar into a butterfly. And that, is a beautiful thing!
Overcoming 365,
I must keep reminding myself to breathe. My body encourages me to release all my muscles and let the tension go. My life seems a blur. I know you experience the same feelings. If you don't, please share your secret.
A chapter in our lives ended in February when my daughter's divorce was final after a turbulent six years of marriage. We are so thankful for God's grace and love during life's big disappointments. We are confident it is all for good and look forward to what God has in store for Sydnee and her precious daughters. I hope I don't make this sound too easy. Their separation and divorce has been one of the most difficult, heart-shredding, agonizing and tearful times in my life. My prayer has always been for her ex-husband to accept the love and support we, I offered. He would not.
Matthew 23:37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathered her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!
Did you notice the exclamation point at the end of that verse? Yes! An exclamation point written in God's word. The next verse says "Behold, your house is left unto you desolate." Short version: If you don't accept God's love, you will be on your own. God helped me to have love, patience and continual prayer for my ex-son-in-law while watching him tear down my daughter and their children. Sydnee allowed God to gather her, his child, under his wings of protection. He has not left her desolate. I praise him for her recovery thus far. I trust him for her continued healing and happiness. Please help me pray for the ex. He is the daddy of my granddaughters and I want good things for him. |
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| My dad suffered his fourth stroke mid-March. Hospitalization and rehabilitation kept him away from home for almost a month. He is doing well. We just celebrated his 81st birthday on June 8. My mom was a trooper! She stayed with him every single day during his recuperation. She didn't even go home. We took her clothes and she showered at the hospital. We celebrated her 78th birthday at the rehab facility with a German Chocolate Cake baked by Sloane! We got Dad home and Mom started enjoying ER visits. She had immediate surgery for a 8.25 mm kidney stone mid-May. My daughters took off work providing care for both of my parents like champions! I was down with Flu B when my dad was in the hospital. My granddaughters, both of them, also got the flu. I was out of town when my mom went to the ER and subsequently had surgery. Thank you sweet daughters for all you do! |
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My husband, Steve underwent extensive testing for a double lung transplant the first of May. Two long days of testing were over. His heart cath was scheduled for Wednesday. After eight long hours of waiting, we were sent back to our hotel and asked to return on Thursday. Several emergencies during the day kept pushing his procedure back until it was closing time for the cath lab. He qualified for the transplant but opted to forego right now. It's a long story so I hope you'll continue to read on. I can guarantee you some goose bumps.
Duke University Hospital transferred Steve's case to Emory at our request. North Carolina was too far from Chatsworth to consider doing his transplant there. The condition he suffers requires rheumatalogist visits. He saw one at Emory two years ago but she dismissed him. She encouraged him to see Dr. Veeraraghagan (Dr. V). I've tried for two years to get an appointment with Dr. V.. Ain't happening! Dr. V and Steve's regular pulmonologist at Emory are in the same practice. Evidently, pulmonolgist aren't like obstetricians who want you to see all doctors at the practice. I haven't been able to break through the office personnel to get an appointment. Even if I schedule one online, the appointment is canceled and I get a call asking me if I've made a mistake with selecting a doctor. Annoying!
The transplant team asked what it would take for Steve to say okay to a transplant. His answer "I'm not sure. I've been thinking about it but just don't know." My answer "I'll have to see an accurate diagnosis AND I want him to see Dr. V." I voiced this to the psychologist and the transplant team coordinator. They promised me they'd talk to the team after Steve's test results to see what the team thought. Emily, the transplant coordinator was very interested in the conversation. I felt I was finally being heard.
Fives days after Steve's testing, Emily called to give us the good news. Steve qualified for a double lung transplant. However, with our reluctance, the team thought an appointment with Dr. V. was a good idea. An appointment was scheduled for May 17. On May 15th, Dr. V's office called. Steve's appointment was canceled. Dr. V. had a family emergency. I called to reschedule the appointment but guess what? Couldn't break through the office staff again! Emily finally called us with another appointment scheduled for July 5.
Here comes the goose bumps. When Emily called to tell us Steve had qualified, she was so excited about the Dr. V. appointment. She said "Guys, I got to thinking about what you said about Dr. V.. I remembered a patient we had two years ago with Steve's same diagnosis. I checked the files and with Dr. Neujahr to make sure I wasn't crazy and remembered correctly. Anyway, this patient was pending a double lung transplant. He saw Dr. V. and WE DON'T EVEN FOLLOW HIS CASE ANYMORE. We're not sure what Dr. V. did for him but it worked!"
Praise Jesus! Now, that's what I've waited six years to hear!!! This doctor, through God's grace, is going to heal my husband! I'm believing and receiving! Please help me to ask God's favor in this situation. Thank you in advance for your prayers. |
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I absolutely love the life God has given me! The tough days make the simple days so much sweeter. And sometimes, the simple days outnumber the tough. 2018 seems to be a double doozie so far. One day in April, I remember specifically. My daughter Sloane got a promotion at work that day. It was a simple one...
Love you guys. Thanks for listening to me
spill my heart,
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