Saturday, January 13, 2018

Marriage Challenge #2


Everyone has heard the phrase "Love Conquers All". Most people probably think the adage originated from the Bible, from the love verses in Corinthians 13. Love is patient. Love is kind. The phrase actually originated shortly before the start of the first millennium, the Roman poet Virgil wrote "love conquers all things, let us too surrender to love". Marriage challenge #2 centers around the words we may have said and certainly all have heard "It'll all work out. We will live on love!" Until.  You find yourself married, things aren't working out and it's time to divide and conquer.
I remember Marriage Challenge #1 on being unified and we're still working on that. Now I'm gonna say divide and conquer? Well, yes. In my marriage, I had to figure out when love does conquer all and the reality of .... 
  • If you sit around all day on a snowy Monday making googly eyes at each other, you may feel all warm inside but your outside is probably freezing because you can't pay the electric bill. Reality is love will not conquer the bills. 
  • Your spouse may agree with you most of the time but rest assured, love will not conquer all your disagreements. Expect arguments.
  • Assign work during the engagement..Love will not conquer the dirty dishes, the tall grass, the laundry or taking off the trash.
So what do you do? You divide the bills. Pay some this week and some next week. Conquered. You discuss your disagreements like civilized married people. You may agree to disagree. Divided, yet conquered. Women wash the dishes and laundry. Men mow the grass and take out the trash. Or vice versa. Divided and conquered.

I could go on for days with examples of things in marriage that love will not conquer or will almost conquer but not quite. There are tons of them. Please share some examples of your own with me. It may help some of us old married folk. Newly engaged, newly married and other delusional types let go of the mindset that you will live off love. You will not! I don't mean to be a bubble buster, well, maybe a little but #truthisreality. Don't get too discouraged. There's always hope. There is a situation when love conquers all and improves everything in a marriage.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. The kind of love that conquers all is the love God has towards us. There is nothing we can do that his love can't conquer if we believe in him. As much as I want my marriage to thrive in a Godly fashion, my husband can never love me, nor I him, the way God loves each of us. God's perfect love he shares with us through Jesus is amazingly overwhelming! His love for us...
  • pays the bills, we are debt-free
  • settles all disagreements between our soul and our savior, and
  • never requires work
Romans 8:37 Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

Unified and conquering,
Tammy
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Thursday, January 4, 2018

Marriage Challenge #1

I have been married 32 years. Eleven thousand seven hundred twenty-eight days to be exact. My parents are working on year 60. I hope Steve and I make it that long. The marriage will. I'm worried about our bodies. Thirty-two years has a lot to say. Many days of lessons with lots of learning and many days of fun with loads of laughter.  I named the lessons first because without them there isn't much fun and if you don't learn from the lessons, there isn't much laughter.

Marriages have different challenges. The challenge I found to be most difficult is becoming one.
Mark 10:7-8 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

I've never read in the scriptures where a woman should leave her father and mother. If you know the verse, please tell me. I'm an only child. Not leaving and living 50 yards from my parents pleases me. That's the truth. Luckily, my husband likes it too or he's grown to like it! Some may say distancing myself may have made the "twain" easier? We will never know.

Now for the twain part, becoming one flesh. The Bible teaches me to submit to my husband. I'm good with that but what if it's simply hard to do. Some of the main things I noticed early on:
  •  His Christian thoughts aren't exactly mine. Differences in beliefs is confusing and frustrating.
  • Family traditions and values don't all align.
  • He feels like I give my family more time than his.
  • My ideas are more important to me than his.
  • I don't listen to him. 
  • I won't let him help me.
  • He don't want to help me.
  • He expects to eat my cooking every day.
  • He thinks I should be able to manage the bills more effectively.
  • He watches too much Georgia football.
  • And, I'd rather not mention the three-letter-word that begins with s
Early on? Did I say early on?  I still deal with a few of these. We are twain.....now. After 32 years. My experience and longevity begat patience. Unity does not happen overnight. Brothers and sisters born to the same parents with everything exactly the same rarely achieve unity quickly if at all.

I'm never too hard on myself or my spouse because we're  both giving the union our best. Forgiveness then forgetting. We allow each other to make mistakes. More importantly, we give each other time to learn from our mistakes. We give each other room.  We TALK to each other. My spouse still can't read my mind.

If things weren't working, we despised a plan together to try something new. Above all, we are forever committed to making our marriage work. If you're always giving 200% and getting 25%, you'll be exhausted. God purposed marriage as an equal partnership. You should never feel alone. Unity is not singular.

How have we made it 32 years? Improving one's self. Keeping each other accountable without blame. Working together.  Serving God and each other. Being humble and kind while steadfast and strong. LOVE. God created marriage. His grace is what helped us through the last 32.

Honestly, sometimes I didn't think unity was gonna happen. Presently, some days I wonder where it went. Others days, we finish each other thoughts mid-sentence. When discouragement comes (although not often anymore), I look at the word "unified". It does have two i's and no we, but.....

"U" and "I" come first.   


Working on Marriage 365,
Tammy
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Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Be Healthy 365 Days In 2018

on guard oil
My daughter Sydnee is a 6th grade teacher. Her exposure to germs and illness knows no bounds. Whatever she catches usually infects our entire close-knit family of nine! Luckily, one of her teacher friends noticed her susceptibility to every bug going around. My daughter noticed how this particular teacher was never sick despite the latest bug of the week. Our goal is to Be Healthy 365 days in 2018!

Sydnee contracted a respiratory infection in early fall 2017. Her two children got it. My Mom and dad got it. My son-in-law got it. I got it! My husband and youngest daughter were spared. The rest of us all went to the doctor for antibiotic shots and some got steroid shots. Milisende, my one-year-old granddaughter required three high-powered antibiotic shots for three consecutive days to lower her white blood count from this horrific germ. We were still not well after three to four weeks.

Enter "On Guard". This protective oil blend is the surprising secret of the healthy teacher. On Guard is manufactured by doTERRA. On Guard gives the immune system a boost to help "guard" against airborne bacteria and viruses.
Sydnee began using On Guard immediately on herself and her children. Her four-year-old and toddler love the roll-on applicator. They even apply the oil to themselves. Sydnee and her daughters still had a ragged cough after three weeks, even with prescribed medicines. On Guard completely resolved the persistent coughs and runny noses.

Recommended application, two to three times per day, roll on just behind the toes on both feet. You can also use under the nose, rolled onto the glands in the neck (especially good for sore throat) and on the wrists. Buy On Guard to protect you and your family. Click this link to buy now.

 Disclaimer: This is not medical advice or remedy. The information in this blog is personal experience. If you have a medical condition, please consult your doctor. Additionally, I may receive a small compensation when you buy from this website.

 Please leave me a comment to share your amazing results using this product.

Be Healthy 365 Days in 2018,
Tammy
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Friday, December 8, 2017

I Love the Feeling

clean
Oh goodness! It's been two months since I've posted to my blog. I sure have missed it and you. Sometimes God sits me down and wants to talk to me. I need to listen for me. That's where I've been. Not really having much to share just trying my best to soak up what I needed to make it through the last three months. So much going on with my family, good and different, but always looking to God for steadfastness and strength. It has been a while but I received a thought a couple of weeks ago that I feel should be shared! So here goes....

Of all things, I was mopping my kitchen floor. I HATE to mop. I sweat like a hog wallowing in the sunshine! I need to shower after I mop. I take several rest periods during one kitchen mop session! I use one of those Spin 360 mops or I'd never get finished.  Now, I LOVE the clean! I could sit for hours admiring the shiny white tile a good mopping leaves behind. The clean smell is an aroma pleasing to my nose. I always hope I have company so they can see the rewards of my labor. 

I love the feeling but I loathe the fuss. Do you know what I mean? I have to prod myself for days to mop. I spot clean. I ignore the dirt. I tell myself the floor won't stay clean but nothing satisfies me but to mop that dirty floor. The floor is dirty again within a few days but the clean feeling lingers. Clean feels so good!

You know where I'm taking this. God showed me something during my latest mop session. Psalm 51:10 says Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. I get dirty just like floors, repeatedly. I allow sin to creep into my life. I feel dirty, removed from the good clean feeling when there's nothing between me and my Savior. I know I need a good cleaning (repentance), but I loathe the fuss that gets me the feeling. I'll have to admit I'm wrong. I'll have to break down some pride. For heaven's sake, I'll have to get on my knees and Lord, you know, they hurt. I'll have to be sincere, really? I'll have to be sorry for my faults. I'll have to ask for forgiveness. I may have to apologize to somebody. What?

After I've done all that fussing with a few rest periods in the middle because you know I'm human and all that sounds like superhuman stuff, here comes the feeling. Do you know the feeling? My clean heart begins to sing Indescribable,
uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

My right spirit is renewed. There's not another feeling like it in the whole wide world! In my entire life, I have never found anything comparable to Jesus. Have you?

No. I don't mop more often than usual, nor do any of the other chores I hate. I do view my spiritual housecleaning differently. God will surely allow me to ignore the dirt and spot clean to try to make myself feel better. Won't work. Instead of thinking "I love the feeling but I loathe the fuss", my new motto is:
Jesus loves me but loathes my mess,
Oh how I love the feeling when I confess!

Feeling clean 365,
Tammy
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Sunday, October 8, 2017

Wool is Itchy

sheep

Sheep teach us about ourselves.  Jesus uses the illustration of sheep and shepherd many times in the Bible. John 10:11 says "I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep." What more could you want than a keeper who assures your safety while you graze all day in green pastures? Being a part of the sheepfold is a beautiful thing if we just didn't act like the sheep we are. Even under the shepherd's loving Lordship, we still need much tending.  Romans 8:23 states that we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of the body or if you will, the shedding of our itchy wool.
Things we have in common with sheep:
  • Slow to learn. God provides 66 books with 1,189 chapters of what to do and what not to do. How much of it do we know?
  • Demanding. Sheep demand grass, grass and more grass. They have an insatiable appetite.Sound familiar?
  • Stubborn. This one needs no explanation.
  • Lost and Straying. We just can't seem to stay on-course needing rescued time after time.
  • Dependent. Sheep can't survive and live without their shepherd.
 I didn't know this about sheep. 


Yes. Sheep stick their head through a fence and WILL NOT pull it out. The shepherd has to get them unstuck. 
Are you stuck?
Let JESUS get YOUR HEAD out of the FENCE!

Itching to Death,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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