Monday, August 25, 2014

Mom-ism Monday #15

I've been blogging momisms for almost four months now. I hope someone likes them as much as me. They sure are fun to reminisce.

I thought to myself today, "I'm a mom. Do I have any momisms?" This one came to mind. Not an original. Someone way more important than me said it way before I did! I used it to keep my girls in-line or so I thought. They still remember it though because sometimes they recite it to me. lol
I also love that it is a direct promise from God and one of the ten commandments. Have you ever said this to your kids? Leave me a comment and let me know if you follow this yourself.

Honoring my parents,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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Wednesday, August 20, 2014

What is Holy Ghost Protocol?

I got the idea for this inspirational theme from the movie "Mission Impossible:Ghost Protocol". Have you watched it? Ghost protocol means if you accept your mission, act in terms of rightness and fail, you are on your own. No covert operators to come to your rescue. MI:Ghost Protocol is an exciting, action-packed show. The challenges of the agents, once ghost protocol was invoked, got me thinking,

What exactly is protocol? Simply stated, protocol is a code of correct conduct. We follow protocol in our jobs, our emergency plans (i.e. fire drills), even churches follow a detailed guideline of some protocol be it Baptist, Methodist, Catholic, etc. You and I, if we profess Christ, live a code of correct conduct through faith in Jesus.  The Bible is our system of rules or code. Once we accept Christ our mission is to do right, but if we fail, we're never on our own. We are rescued by a supreme protocol..."The Holy Ghost Protocol"!

Here is a comparison of Ghost Protocol vs. Holy Ghost Protocol:
QUICKLY! Choose to follow Jesus and be led by the Holy Ghost because eventually you will self-destruct and it could be in the next 5 seconds. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.....Did you choose?

Following protocol,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap





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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

3 Holes in the #ShareaCoke Campaign

I have a love/hate relationship with Coke. I admit there is nothing more pleasing than the thirst-quenching taste of Coke. That sweet 10 teaspoons of sugary goodness billowing out of a bottle and splashing into your mouth tingling your tongue with a dash of effervescence! Definitely sensual and almost sexy. Then there's that awkward after-Coke regret.

I always hate that I've just drunk poison, albeit a great tasting poison. Coke has the same rotten effect on my body every time I allow that rich dark liquid to penetrate my lips, stain my teeth and erode my esophagus as it spills down my gullet to make war with my stomach acids. I'm not sure which one is stronger; the Coke acid or my stomach acid? I can never cover up the morning after fact that I've drunk a Coke due to the tell tell sign. The delicate skin under my eyes look like I somehow turned into a basset hound during the night.
bassett hound


My love/hate relationship is not the subject of this post. The unsettling experience I had while selecting a Coke from my local Dollar General cooler is! I hadn't shopped for a single 20 oz. Coke since the #ShareaCoke campaign began. I had bought a 12-pack. I can't remember anything distressing about reaching for a 12-pack #ShareaCoke can.  But, as I stood in front of that cooler with the door open trying to decide, I ran into the following 3 holes in this particular advertising campaign:

  1. The very first Coke I saw opening the cooler was the name of my first high school sweetheart. "Awwww! How sweet." It might have been a Hallmark moment if he hadn't passed away several years ago. For a split second, I thought about sharing a Coke with him and then remembered he was no longer here. For Coke's sake, I'm glad I didn't close the cooler and go home depressed. I pushed past the sour emotions until I found the perfect bottle.  #ShareaCoke with Steve...my husband! "Awwww! How sweet!" Finding the perfect named bottle felt good but I still have doubt about the coziness of this campaign.
  2. It felt eerie and downright strange for me to select a Coke to share with a stranger. I saw Kim, Alex and Kyle. I know a Kim or two, one Alex came to mind and so did one Kyle but I've never shared a Coke with any of them so I didn't feel all warm and fuzzy about buying their bottles. Am I the only one that finds it weird to buy a Coke with someone's name on the bottle you don't know?  I finally found two Diet Cokes that I was comfortable buying that said "Friends" and "Family". 
  3. "Friends" and "Family" reminded me more of a Sprint cell phone commercial than it did Coke. Whatever happened to the 1979 campaign  "Have a Coke and a Smile" or the 2009 campaign "Open Happiness"? I wouldn't have wasted so much of my time simply buying a soft drink with either of these campaigns and I'd be thinking happy thoughts while doing it.
I wish I had the money to buy the world a Coke and keep it company. Grow apple trees and honey bees and snow white turtle doves. But I think perfect harmony can best be kept in the Coke world without putting names on Coke bottles. I wonder if Coke stopped to think about how miserable the people feel who can't find their names on a bottle? I haven't asked my daughters Sydnee and Sloane if they've found their names yet. Chances are high they haven't!

Halfheartedly sharing,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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Monday, August 18, 2014

Mom-ism Monday #14

My mother-in-law Elizabeth Fronnie Stafford was a ringtail tooter! Oops! Nobody, I mean not one soul was supposed to know her middle name. She hated it! Lizzy left us in 1997 but her mom-isms are alive and thriving in our family.

I never really understood the extremely dire meaning in the mom-ism for today until I read the poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. You can read it here. When Elizabeth didn't shower or she'd had a hard, sweaty day at work or if she was just generally unkempt on a lazy day, she'd always apologize for her looks by saying...


After reading the dreary poem which ends:
Such was the wreck of the Hesperus,
      In the midnight and the snow!
Christ save us all from a death like this,
      On the reef of Norman's Woe!
I'm figuring looking like The Wreck of the Hesperus is as ugly and ghastly as one can get! 

Are you familiar with the poem? I hope you are now and...you have a new way to say "I look terrible!"

Learning new poetry,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap

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Sunday, August 17, 2014

Word of the Day - Kinkered

"Word of the Day" is...

Does your family make-up or change words? And then use them in every day conversations? We do! Kinkered is my Dad's substitute word for "canker" or "cankered". Yeah, you know... the necrotic fungal disease that grows on the barks of trees or an ulcerous condition such as ear cankers! The word is multi-talented. Kinkered can be used as a noun or a verb.

I thought of this particular word of the day from our crazy made-up language our family uses. The other day when my Dad was eating a Cadbury egg. Yes, from Easter 2014, way back in April. He was carefully peeling the foil paper from the edges of the egg and experiencing great difficulty as the foil refused to let go of the old chocolate. I said "You know that egg is from Easter. It's only 4 or 5 months old." My mom coaxed him on "Candy don't ruin!" I continued with a worried look saying "It's got a spot on the side of it." My Dad wielded his handy dandy pocket knife to investigate the spot. He said "That thang goes all the way through!" I said laughing "Don't eat that thang. It's KINKERED!" 

He ate it. Every bite. He also licked the chocolate off his fingers. He said "I've eaten older things than this and I'm still here." It's been five days since he ate the egg and all is well. I guess kinker won't kill ye. 

Put the word to work in your vocabulary. It's fun and functional! Have you ever heard of it or used it? Leave me a comment. :)

Crazy talk 365,
Tammy



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