Posts with the label stare
Showing posts with label stare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stare. Show all posts
Thursday, April 28, 2022
Five Basic Elements of Unconditional Love
Life has thrown some pretty big challenges at Steve and I. I'm sure you have plenty of your own. We are thankful the carousel stopped before the dizziness got to our stomach. The constant ups and downs of the ride churned our beings. We hung on for dear life. When Steve and I married, 36 years ago, he planned to take care of me. I was the one born with a congenital birth defect. He nor I, never, for one minute, considered my health would ever be better than his. My perpetual limp, coupled with my basic need for prostethics for both feet, was quickly overshadowed by Steve's need for a double lung transplant in 2020. Life, in general, for everyone, necessitates the five basic elements of unconditional love. Love is what makes our worlds go round.
Before his transplant, I watched Steve struggle to fit in with his new requirement for oxygen, unable to walk 10-20 feet without stopping for air. People stared at him and his tank. I've almost overcome the stares from curious people, although, some days I'm off my game. I wish Steve never endured the breathlessness of a chronic lung disease or felt inadequate. God grew both of us through his illness and transplant recovery. Praise the Lord Steve is back now! We've come full circle. I'm the one trying to keep up with him again.
Everyone wants unconditional love. These are the five basic elements of unconditional love we embrace and practice:
Everyone wants unconditional love. These are the five basic elements of unconditional love we embrace and practice:
- Different is good. Diversity was cool in our home before it became a popular buzzword.
- Compassion not pity. Compassion and pity are synonyms but aren't the same. Both convey sympathetic feelings for others, but pity creates cause for regret or disappointment. Pity comes across as sadness or misfortune. Advseristy encourages strength, adaptation and courage. Those valuable charcter traits desire compassion not pity.
- Wear a smile. A smile is so much more comforting than that furrowed brow frown; no sad faces allowed. Caring is revealed with a happy face. Show your love for ohters by greeting them with a warm smile.
- Do not stare, gawk or crane. When I share my story with groups, I laugh at myself. I've become so used to people staring at me, I get offended when they don't. I wonder what's wrong with these people? LOOK at me! (That is a joke, of course.) I really don't enjoy being stared at for the wrong reasons.
- Take time for all. Individuals are put into our lives for various reasons. We will learn and grow from every person we meet if we invest wisely. Understanding people is a full-time job. Friends are a blessing to cherish.
Faith is unconditional love. Our faith sees inner beauty. Our value lives on the inside. Grace and mercy are always unconditional.. Paul, a popular disciple, struggled with his problems until he found Jesus. His attitude changed completely. He accepted his physical plight. Paul wrote the following scripture. I think he began to practice the five basic elements of unconditional love.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10. "For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.
Lovingly,
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Four Types of Stares: Which One are You?
My husband is learning to process people's gazes. He requires oxygen. You would think he has leprosy the way people look at him with a cannula in his nose pulling an oxygen tank. He almost gets more attention than me. I don't care if they stare. (Steve calls me an exhibitionist.) I just want to understand why people can't take their eyes off of me. Now, Steve is another story. He don't want to go out in public anymore due to the stares. He's always been a very private person. Me? I'll seductively pull down my long black socks and show you my prosthetics if you want to see them!
Over the years, I've classified four stare types. They are:
- The Sneaky Stare. This type starer notices me but glances straight ahead like they're not going to stare. I walk toward them and at the very last second when we're walking past each other, when they KNOW I'm not going to know they stared, they quickly shift their eyes in my direction for that gratuitous look-see! CAUGHT! Uhhhh, you're not sneaky at all and if you'd just ask me, I'd share my story with you!
- The Blatant Stare. This bold starer just don't care if they get caught. They gawk, turn around in circles to make sure they seen what they think they saw and will probably ask me "What happened to your foot?", "Did you hurt your foot?", "Were you born with Polio?" etc. I've heard them all. Please...stare all you want but don't jeopardize my dignity by playing 20 questions.
- The Backwards Stare. This type's curiosity gets the best of them. They're cool and collected when they notice Tammy has a problem. They don't want me to feel uncomfortable or "stared at" so they look away, until, I get by them. Then they look back at me trying to politely figure me out until they realize I know their type. When my eyes meet theirs, it's over! CAUGHT! I've often wished they would turn into a pillar of salt.
- The Apologetic Stare. This is the worst starer ever. Bless their hearts. They mean well, but when you're stared at the entire length of a 10 mile mall it's difficult to accept those Basset Hound hung down jaws and sad baggy eyes that seem to say "I'm so sorry you're hurt and limping." Really. People. It's okay!!! If you sincerely feel that sorry for me, hand me a dollar or the keys to a new car with a disabled tag. Please don't stare!
I made it my calling to teach my children to accept others as God made them. That's a whole 'nother subject because mostly people are the way the world has made them.
My favorite personal wisdom is this: If everyone had something "different" to deal with.....people would be "different", possibly even polite. If you gotta stare, stare hard to see the good in people not to figure out the bad.
Here's looking at you,
Tammy
The Happy Handicap
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