Donna, Nancy and I went for a nice dinner at Cafe Intermezzo in Downtown Atlanta this past weekend. On a hot July day, the breeze was blowing exceptionally pleasant and we sat outdoors and enjoyed our time together. My daughter Sydnee went with us too!
Nancy compared us to Steel Magnolias. She was Shirley McClain, Donna was Dolly Parton, I was Sally Fields and Sydnee is Julia Roberts. So, the tips below derived from our conversation that evening! Enjoy!
1. Never ever-ever consistently look better than your friend. She will start avoiding you and will eventually quit being your friend!
2. Don't talk about your children the entire visit even if you think they are perfect. We love our unruly children and don't care to hear you droning on and on about precious little Susie and athletic little Bobby!
3. Don't tell us how good your husband is to you! We know you follow him around with a stick and if we saw him the tongue lashing would still be visible!
4. Please limit your good news stories to 10!
5. Don't tell us your employer loves you! Employers only love themselves!
6. Don't wanna hear about your custom designed home decor when we can't afford "Design on a Dime"!
7. Your Beamer don't need a nickname! We know how much it costs, how much the insurance costs and how expensive the monthly maintenance is!
8. Don't fork the lettuce from your petite salad and talk to me while waving it in my face. I already noticed you ordered a salad!
9. Don't sport your $1000 sandals and tell me you paid that much for them when I can't afford a root canal!
10. Don't whine about being overweight! Fire your yard man and attack that lawn like Richard Simmons doing "Sweatin to the Oldies" or you could walk your own dogs!
11. Don't run down your list of prescription meds, it makes me feel bad about my own!
In the end, Nancy, Donna and I are truly friends, we love each other! If you can find humor in these tips without getting mad, stomping your feet, puffing up and pouting, I know your friends love you too!